Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Gayland-isms...#1


For those that know my delicious better half (..And I mean scrumptiously delicious…with those hazel eyes and salt and pepper hair that is long enough now to brush out of his eyes, I just want to eat him up which is a problem since that is how we got ourselves into this mess in the first place...geez!  Can't the man just be unattractive for half a second??), it will come as no surprise when I say he is pretty darn funny!  If you've met him casually, this statement might be a bit puzzling because he's actually quiet in nature when in the midst of new faces (and besides, do ya think he can get a word in edge wise with my big yap running all the time?).  For those unfamiliar with Mr. Wonderful, let me be the first to enlighten you; this man is a hoot!  He's not overtly funny, like a Jim Carey (you know what I'm talking about...the obnoxious kind of funny…The kind of funny where you find yourself wondering if the person is capable of carrying on a serious conversation with another human-being without bulging their eyes out, making farting noises with their mouth, contorting their noses in funny directions or acting a fool all the time just for the sake of getting attention…not that kind of funny).  Gayland is funny because his humor presents itself in the most unlikely time and circumstance.  This is a trait I’ve learned to love about him as our years together have increased and we’re totally relaxed in each other’s company (…And isn’t that a good thing?  Can you imagine how horrific it would be cooped up in our 800 square foot, one-bedroom New York City chalet if we didn’t like to be around each other?)

So, what is humor if not shared with others?  Since the secret about Gayland's comedic side is now out, I am going to keep track of my favorite "Gaylandisms" and post them weekly as part of our blog.  Not only will this hopefully brighten your mood and spirit, one day Baby P can read about his/her Dad and laugh along with the rest of us.  My hope is I'm able to accurately express the moment of drollery by just using my words (and perhaps a video or two if I can figure out how to imbed it into my post).

Without further a due, here is my first Gayland-ism...

The setting:  Our living room/office/kitchen space with my big 'ole behind plumped down on the center cushion of the couch (my favorite spot in our apartment).  The high-top, multi-purpose table (which is used as Gayland's new desk, my vanity table and the place we eat dinner each night) stands at exactly 2 o'clock from where the couch sits and for the sake of this story, where Gayland is standing.  I have my feet propped up on the glass coffee table sporting my new furry purple slippers when the baby decides Momma needs a little "nudging".  NOW, keep in mind, Baby P's version of nudging and your version of nudging are probably not comparable.  When this child begins nudging - ah-hum -kicking, it usually makes me jump or at least twist a bit away from the blow.  Once it stops, I grab my right side in an effort to thwart off another attack by my child.  Gayland, being the constant watch-dog he's become after all of our New York City excitement quickly asks with true concern written all over his face, “Are you okay?” To which I promptly respond after a long, dramatic sigh with my eyes rolled up in my head, “Would you like to come over here and feel your child kicking me.”  Without hesitation he responds, “Why do I ALWAYS have to be the disciplinarian in this family?  Why do you make MEEEEE be the bad guy?”  We both started laughing uncontrollably!

The moral of this story:  I am thankful my husband is already offering to be the “bad guy” in the parenting role!  That’s one less thing I have to worry about though I imagine once he sets eyes on his child for the first time he's going to become complete mush!

  

Friday, November 23, 2012

If Weeble's wobble...


If Weeble's wobble to keep from tipping over, what the hell do pregnant women do when our stomachs stick out disproportionately to the rest of our bodies?  We waddle!  

The waddle is a tricky thing...it comes on slowly over a few weeks and can sometimes be explained away simply as a symptom of not being able to exercise regularly so joints naturally stiffen.  The afflicted person (ah-hum, pregnant woman) may stand up...very slowly...put one foot in front of the other but have a bit of a hitch in her getty-up!  Being in a complete state of denial, the pregnant woman simply waives off the stiffness as just being "pregnant".  Another day may go by where she is able to walk around as normal and then...it hits again…usually after a large meal.  Well, last night there was no more denying it...Ladies and Gents, I am officially a waddler!  I can't abnegate or hide it and I certainly cannot convince anyone there is anything else going on other than I waddle when I walk!    

I'm one of those women you can see coming from a mile away.  You know the kind...If you're heading south on 10th street and you see a woman in a black velour track suit (there are two versions...one with pink ribbon accents on the hood, zipper and pants and one without) heading north swaying left and right doing what could be mistaken as the goose step, have no doubt, even in the middle of Midtown Manhattan, that would be me!  All you need to see is my booty-licious butt, hippo-normous hips, and blondish-colored ponytail swaying too and fro to know Big Momma is heading your way!  Don't worry about looking for my face...you won't need to see it you’ll just know its me!

Not that long ago, I was just like you…Yes, YOU!  You, the woman that exercises non-stop, eats rabbit food, counts every calorie, has never been pregnant and thinks when you do get pregnant, the waddle will never happen to you!  You, the woman that finds out you are pregnant but still lives in denial, calling all of your pregnant friends that are months ahead wanting to know if they waddle when they walk and after finding out they do, still convince yourself you won’t!  Watch out sister because the waddle is coming for you and it hits just about the time you think you have this whole pregnancy thing figured out!  It happens the week between when you celebrated the fact you could still wear your Hanky Panky pre-pregnancy thongs without the lace rolling up on the sides of your hips and your Big Girl Bosom brassière becomes a size too damn small! 

So, knowing you can’t avoid it, might as well embrace it, right??  After all, Gisele Bundchen will never have a thing on you!  She couldn’t have a butt as round, hips as wide or boobs as big yours even if she wanted to (ok, there’s always plastic surgery)!  Here’s to all you pregnant ladies out there waddling through Target, Wal-Mart, Nordstrom and Macy’s shopping for holiday gifts for your family while being absolutely positively miserable…You go with your big self (pun intended)!!  And for all those husbands/partners loving their Big, Beautiful, Buximous, Waddling, Pregnant gals…kudos to you!  Believe me when I say, this pregnancy thing is a whole helluva lot harder than you think it is!  





Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Texas Bound? God willing...


If we have our way, we will make our return trip to Austin on Christmas Day!  This will be the biggest Christmas gift of our lives for two reasons: 

1.  Baby P will still be cookin’  
2.  We will finally be home!

We received conflicting recommendations from physicians last week, which sent me into a tailspin.  Our New York OB/GYN recommended we stay in New York due to the shortness of my cervix until after the baby arrives.  Picking ourselves up by our bootstraps after hearing that news, we prepared mentally and emotionally to ride out the pregnancy in the Big Apple.  The next day, our Austin-based OB/GYN called and said if I stay pregnant until 32 weeks we should come back home.  WHAT?  Who on earth do you listen to?  Who do you believe?  We have no medical background and depend heavily on the advice and recommendation of our physicians to make wise decisions about our child and our own lives.  It was incredibly frustrating so looking for advice from a third party; we decided to hold off on making decisions until we saw the specialist later in the week.

On Friday, we went to the Maternal Fetal Medicine specialist for our weekly sonogram and cervical update.  We learned my cervix had improved over the week prior from 3 mm to 6 mm (I sure as hell hope so!  I'm doing virtually nothing all day every day except perhaps going a little bit more crazy...this is sweet victory for what feels like the training session of my life).  When the doctor came in to speak with us, she asked what our plan was moving forward since my condition has stabilized?  We told her our Austin based physician was comfortable with us going home at 32 weeks and she agreed that was a good plan of action.  So, with fingers and toes crossed, we impatiently waited for the results of my fFN test.  

Fibronectin proteins are produced by fetal cells and for women that are at high risk for pre-term labor (like me), the fFN test can indicate if those cells are present.  A "positive" result indicates the possibility of going into labor "soon" but is also inconclusive, as women with a positive result can stay pregnant for many weeks to come, go figure!  Conversely, a "negative" test is a conclusive result that a woman has a 95% chance of NOT going into labor in the next two weeks.  We were thrilled to learn today I had another NEGATIVE test, the second negative result in the past two weeks. Such a huge relief off our minds.

We have our weekly appointment with the specialist tomorrow for another sonogram and assuming the results remain consistent, we will book our flights back to Texas for a Christmas day return!  As we've done for the past month, we remain cautiously optimistic.

To end today's post, Thanksgiving is weighing heavily on our minds.  We are constantly reflecting on all of the blessings that have been bestowed upon us this year, starting with reaching our 28-week milestone tomorrow!  Sitting in that hospital bed at 23 weeks and 5 days pregnant one month ago I honestly thought we might not have a baby to celebrate with this year and every year for the rest of our lives.  I will never underestimate the amazing grace of God and the power of prayer.  For those who have added us to your prayer chain, prayer list at church and continue to pray for us in the privacy of your homes, THANK YOU!  We have a new perspective on the things that matter in this life.  At the end of the day, if you don’t have amazing family and unwavering friendships you're not really living!!  

We wish abundant blessings to you and your family this Thanksgiving.

Monday, November 19, 2012

Thanksgiving Thankfulness!


Thanksgiving is my all-time favorite holiday!  Families gather together to celebrate one-another and blessings of the year, the food is delicious and plentiful, spirits are high, it's the kick-off to the Holy season and all of this is done without exchanging one gift.

Knowing our Thanksgiving will be very different in 2012, I'm focusing on what I'm most thankful for this year.  It goes without saying I'm thankful that we are two days away from being 28 weeks pregnant, have the love and support of amazing friends and family, a great job, etc. but what I want to really give thanks for this year is my husband.  In all of the blogging and conversations that have taken place over the past month, I feel as though he sometimes gets left out.  He is the hero in my life and the one we all should praise for a job well done during our very trying, extended vacation in Manhattan!  

In true New York style, I’ve devised the “Top 10 reasons I'm most thankful for Gayland Paffe this Thanksgiving”...

10.  He loves Tennessee football as much as I love A&M football!  You can bet when our teams meet in the SEC Championship one day I'll have on my maroon t-shirt and Volunteer flip-flips and he'll be wearing his Big Orange t-shirt and Texas Aggie baseball hat!  We'll both take turns holding Baby P who obviously comes from a house that is divided!

9.  While standing on the white sand beaches of the Iberostar Grand Bavaro Resort in Punta Cana, Dominican Republic, he looked like something out of a movie.  I was petrified when I got to the beach to meet him he was going to be gone and I can't say I would have blamed him.  (Perhaps I provided a little encouragement...well....um... persuasion... or threats...ok, ultimatums about the marriage part so I was fearful he was going to bolt right into the Caribbean Ocean because he wasn’t quite ready to take the ultimate plunge.)  I'm not the easiest person to love or live with but he made a decision to see us through.  That day and moment were, and he still remains, the biggest blessing of my life.

8.  Cucumbers don't have a thing on my Baby Daddy!  That man is calm as can be and never lets anyone see him sweat.  It provides a calming effect on me since I sweat more than anyone I know!



7.  He loves to cook which is beneficial to both of us since we'd starve or weigh 500 pounds each if it were left up to me to feed us.  Yes, I can bake a mean cookie, cake, pie or yeast bread but please do not ask me to cook anything other than breakfast, spaghetti or tacos!

6.  When I married him I also received his family, all of whom I love dearly!  His Mom, Dad, sister, brother and sister-in-law in FL are diverse and dynamic and they make me smile!  I can't wait for Baby P to meet his/her grandparents, aunts and uncle.

5.  In almost four years, he's never missed a songwriter's round, acoustic or full-band show.  He has listened to every song I've written and provided honest feedback, set up my sound equipment, sold my merchandise, supported and encouraged my crazy, expensive dream.  He’s been at every 5k, half-marathon and triathlon cheering me on when I wasn’t sure if my legs or mind would carry me to the finish line.  And then, he agreed to train for the Nashville marathon with me knowing well I’m a much slower runner than him.  True love is when an 8:30 miler agrees to train with an 11:00 miler...just saying!

4.  I used to hate when people would say, “My husband is my best friend.”  I always thought that was outright crap….and then I married Gayland Paffe.  I do have a best girlfriend that has been with me through the thick and thin of life in the past 12 years and I love her dearly but my bestfriendship with Gayland is different.  He is the Southwest Airlines to my 737, the salted butter to my white French bread, the vanilla buttercream icing to my chocolate cupcake, the Tide with Febreeze to my washing machine and the cashmere socks to my new black suede TOMS booties.  He is my heart and soul and I love this man more than I ever thought it possible to love another human being!


3.  During the trials and tribulations of our New York hospital stay October 22nd - October 26th, he never left my side (except to shower and get us food).  He slept on a hard, faux-leather couch every night under a shaggy blanket and flat pillow.  He was my constant in the midst of extreme chaos and he never threatened to kick the ass of all those male doctor's that were providing what felt like non-step cervical exams...Love this man!

2.  As I'm constantly unsure how we're going to pay our bills if we have to stay in New York, have a baby and raise it to be an upstanding and productive citizen, involve both of our families in the child's life when we live in different states all while maintaining demanding jobs that require a ton of travel, he constantly lies to me and tells me he's not worried about the same things.  This is the one time in our marriage I'm glad he doesn’t tell me the truth!

*And, the #1 reason I'm most thankful for Gayland Paffe this holiday season:

He chose me to be the mother of his child.  There is no greater honor or gift...

In the spirit of thankfulness, what blessings will you be celebrating on Thursday with your family?