tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32184721581376008092024-03-12T15:59:39.208-07:00PAFFE FOR PRESIDENT Sharing my experiences as a mother, career-woman, singer, songwriter, lover of travel, part-time philanthropist and wife...one blog post at a time.Leslie Alexander Paffehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03923742445321250754noreply@blogger.comBlogger35125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3218472158137600809.post-59967757510847596192022-06-19T13:39:00.001-07:002022-06-20T10:22:31.141-07:00A Novice Guide to Amergris Caye, Belize<p></p><p><span style="color: black; font-family: "Georgia",serif; font-size: 13.5pt;">I have an
insatiable desire to live in a Spanish-speaking country. My daughter has been
in Spanish immersion programs and school since she was 18 months old so her
fluency in Spanish along with the fact I grew up on the gulf coast spending
many weekends burning my skin in the south Texas sun and splashing in the Gulf
of Mexico has led to my need to rejuvenate each summer somewhere that has a
beach, sand and a whole lotta sun which makes traveling to Mexico or Central
America a natural choice when looking for a summer vacation destination.
I'm also scoping out our next home, or at least, home away from home, when we
travel south each summer.</span><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; orphans: 2; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Georgia",serif; font-size: 13.5pt;">Last
year we began a new tradition with my sister and her family! We spend a week
together on summer vacation visiting a country outside of the U.S. that has
some form of water. Last year we chose Cabo San Lucas. This year we decided Belize
would be an adventure, so we found a property through Expedia and booked it. This
is my take on our week on the island of Ambergris Caye (pronounced <i>Amber-gris
key</i>), Belize.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p><b><u><span style="color: black; font-family: "Georgia",serif; font-size: 13.5pt;">Things
To Know</span></u></b><b><u><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></u></b></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; margin-left: 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; orphans: 2; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: -0.25in; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">1.<span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="color: black; font-family: "Georgia",serif; font-size: 13.5pt;">If you're
looking for a Spanish speaking country, do not look here! Yep, that's
right! Belize is NOT a Spanish-speaking country. They are a former
English colony (All Hail the Queen!), so the official language of Belize is
English, not Spanish much to my dismay. Though I will say, you'll hear as much
Creole in this beautiful Central American country as English. And if
you're lucky, poquito Espanol! </span><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; orphans: 2; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p>
<p style="margin-left: 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">2.<span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="color: black; font-family: "Georgia",serif; font-size: 13.5pt;">Looking for
Uber and Lyft? Don't come here! Want to know how you get around on the
Island of Ambergris Caye? Look no further than a golf cart. I thought this
was super cool when we first arrived but a week later, not so much. This is an
emerging country, so the roads are full of dirt and holes (and not necessarily
in that order). After seven days of bouncing all over the front and back seat
of a golf cart, we were anxious to get back to Colorado.</span><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; orphans: 2; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Georgia",serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p>
<p style="margin-left: 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: black; font-family: "Georgia",serif; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Georgia; mso-fareast-font-family: Georgia;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">3.<span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="color: black; font-family: "Georgia",serif; font-size: 13.5pt;">Don’t like
bugs, keep on looking for your next vacation destination!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You’ll need as much sunscreen as you do bug
spray! The mosquitoes are out of control, at least in the rainy season
which begins in June. Go ahead and pack double the amount of bug spray you
think you'll need…and then be ready to buy more!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Yes, they are that bad!<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoListParagraph"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Georgia",serif; font-size: 13.5pt; line-height: 107%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p>
<p style="margin-left: 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: black; font-family: "Georgia",serif; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Georgia; mso-fareast-font-family: Georgia;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">4.<span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="color: black; font-family: "Georgia",serif; font-size: 13.5pt;">Don’t get
sucked into the not so secretive “Secret Beach” north of San Pedro.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I had high hopes of white sand and crystal
blue waters but what we found after our 20-minute golf cart ride through holes
and swarms of mosquitoes was a tourist trap.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>The water was green but there was not a true beach. There were shells
that were beaten down to a substance that resembled sand and lounge chairs containing
cushions that looked like they had not been cleaned in this century all on the waters
edge, but it wasn’t a “beach” in the usual definition of the term.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was a huge disappointment. OH, and the
restroom situation in this area would give any porta john you’ll find at a
music festival full of college kids in the U.S. a run for their money!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Hold it tell ya get home if you can…or there’s
always that beautiful green water… </span><span face=""Segoe UI Emoji",sans-serif" style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Georgia; mso-char-type: symbol-ext; mso-hansi-font-family: Georgia; mso-symbol-font-family: "Segoe UI Emoji";">😊</span><span style="color: black; font-family: "Georgia",serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p><b><span style="color: black; font-family: "Georgia",serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></b></p>
<p style="margin-left: 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: black; font-family: "Georgia",serif; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Georgia; mso-fareast-font-family: Georgia;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">5.<span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="color: black; font-family: "Georgia",serif; font-size: 13.5pt;">Do NOT rent
golf carts from your resort, they literally are double the price of a rental
agency out of San Pedro.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We used a company
called <a href="https://tropicalcartbelize.com/">Tropical Golf Cart Rental</a> and
were very pleased with not only their service but also the price they
charged.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We rented a cart for 7 full
days and paid $230 USD which included delivery and full insurance coverage in
comparison to our hotel, which charges $388 for a week of golf cart
rental.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p><span style="color: black; font-family: "Georgia",serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p>
<p style="margin-left: 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: black; font-family: "Georgia",serif; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Georgia; mso-fareast-font-family: Georgia;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">6.<span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="color: black; font-family: "Georgia",serif; font-size: 13.5pt;">If you do not
have WhatsApp, get it before you go to Belize. We were able to communicate
effectively with any and everyone we needed to while there through the app, including
the front desk of our hotel and to order room service. It was impressive!<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p><span style="color: black; font-family: "Georgia",serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p>
<p style="margin-left: 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "Georgia",serif; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Georgia; mso-fareast-font-family: Georgia;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">7.<span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: "Georgia",serif; font-size: 13.5pt;">Don’t forget to buy your <a href="https://belizing.com/Belize-Travel-Insurance-Policy"><span color="windowtext">Belizean Travel Health Insurance</span></a> before you
arrive in the country.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Effective
February 15, 2022, the Belizean Tourism Board <strong><span style="background: white; color: black; font-family: "Georgia",serif; font-weight: normal; mso-color-alt: windowtext;">mandated insurance</span></strong><span style="background: white; color: black; mso-color-alt: windowtext;"><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; float: none; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"> that helps protect travelers against
incurred medical and non-medical expenses if they test positive for COVID-19
during their stay in Belize.</span> The insurance is $18 USD/person and is good
for 21-days. </span><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p><span style="color: black; font-family: "Georgia",serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><br /></span></p><p><span style="color: black; font-family: "Georgia",serif; font-size: 13.5pt;">Let’s
talk about the good stuff now…<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p><span style="color: black; font-family: "Georgia",serif; font-size: 13.5pt;">The
Belizean people are very hospitable. The service we received at every restaurant,
the hotel spa, the front desk of our hotel, the golf cart rental folks, etc. was
second-to-none! We found everyone we met to be kind and helpful. San Pedro’s
economy is built on tourism, but I have wondered if the town being overrun with
Americans is annoying to locals. From what we experienced; they welcome the money
flooding their economy.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;">Wondering
where to eat, stay and what to do while in Belize, here are our
recommendations:</span></p>
<p><b><u><span style="color: black; font-family: "Georgia",serif; font-size: 13.5pt;">Breakfast</span></u></b><u><span style="color: black; font-family: "Georgia",serif; font-size: 13.5pt;">:<o:p></o:p></span></u></p>
<p><span style="color: black; font-family: "Georgia",serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><a href="https://ambergriscaye.com/estels/">Estel’s by the Sea</a> – I’ll have the
Mayan breakfast with bacon and fry jacks, please (that’s sopapillas for all you
Texans or beignets for all you southerners)!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p><span style="color: black; font-family: "Georgia",serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><a href="https://www.facebook.com/dfamilycafebelize/">D Family Café</a> – Their almond
milk latte with cinnamon was divine but the Belizean breakfast really tooted my
flute! <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p><b><span style="color: black; font-family: "Georgia",serif; font-size: 13.5pt;">Dinner:<o:p></o:p></span></b></p>
<p><span style="color: black; font-family: "Georgia",serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><a href="https://www.tripadvisor.com/Restaurant_Review-g291962-d2327655-Reviews-Caroline_s_Cookin-San_Pedro_Ambergris_Caye_Belize_Cayes.html">Caroline’s
Cookin’</a> – Oh my heavens to Belize! This place was by far the best food we ate
on the island. They cook everything from scratch when it’s ordered.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The service was fabulous as was our meal. The
entire menu is listed on a wall chalkboard but don’t let that scare you
away.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The food is divine!<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p><span style="color: black; font-family: "Georgia",serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><a href="https://www.bluewatergrillbelize.com/">Blue Water Grill</a> – This is a
beautiful, upscale restaurant on the water. The open-air concept was perfect
for our party of 11 with a myriad of choices for adults and children.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They also have incredible desserts (yes, my
sister and our friend devoured the key lime pie in 1.3 seconds flat!).<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p><span style="color: black; font-family: "Georgia",serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><a href="https://www.elviskitchen.com/">Elvi’s Kitchen</a> – This is the oldest
restaurant on the island. Celebrating its 46<sup>th</sup> anniversary this
year, this is the restaurant that is the gift that keeps on giving. What I
found especially interesting about this ole place is the sand floors. Yes, you
read that correctly, the floors are sand. I can honestly say this is the first
time I’ve eaten in a restaurant that’s inside a building with sand floors and
servers that wear black dress pants and white dress shirt but scoot around on
sand.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p><b><span style="color: black; font-family: "Georgia",serif; font-size: 13.5pt;">Where
to Stay<br />
</span></b><span style="color: black; font-family: "Georgia",serif; font-size: 13.5pt;">I can only attest to our experience at the <a href="https://cocobeachresort.com-belize.com/en/">CoCo Beach Resort</a> 20
minutes north of San Pedro (via golf cart, it’s much quicker in a taxi).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The hotel is small, about 50-something rooms
that are condo-style. Our room was a two-bedroom, one bath with a full kitchen
and was nicely appointed with wicker furniture and new appliances. The bed in
the master bedroom was king-sized and very comfortable. The second bedroom was
a twin daybed with trundle which was perfect for Elyse and my niece. The bathroom
was teeny tiny, but the water was always hot in the shower and had great water
pressure.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The room had incredible air conditioning,
which we were thankful for since foreign countries can have a different definition
of “air conditioning” than what we have in the States, especially if you live
in the South where there are three seasons:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>hot, hotter, and hot as hell.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p><span style="color: black; font-family: "Georgia",serif; font-size: 13.5pt;">The service
at the front desk was impeccable. I would write asking a question via WhatsApp
and would have an answer instantly. I’m not sure if the issues we experienced
in the one restaurant on property are because we were in Belize during low
season or if they have staffing issues like the rest of the world but when we
ate at the pool restaurant two times, it took 45 minutes to an hour to get our
food and when it came out, it was in shifts, not all at once.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We did get room service one night and the
food was delicious, and it came in 30 minutes, which was what I would expect
from room service. Since our hotel was far from town, it was very disappointing
to have one dining choice on property. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p><span style="color: black; font-family: "Georgia",serif; font-size: 13.5pt;">If
you look up the property on TripAdvisor, do not be fooled by the pictures of a
beautiful beachfront property. There is no beach front. There is brown water
and a water’s edge but no beach and a slew of seaweed. It was gross and no way to
enjoy lying on a lounge chair enjoying a sea breeze. <b><o:p></o:p></b></span></p>
<p><span style="color: black; font-family: "Georgia",serif; font-size: 13.5pt;">I
would not stay at this property again because of the proximity to town, limited
dining options, only one medium-sized pool (there are three pools but only one
is conducive to keeping kids occupied all day) and no beach.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p><span style="color: black; font-family: "Georgia",serif; font-size: 13.5pt;">Though
I have not been in these properties, from the outside they look
incredible:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><a href="https://www.grandcaribebelize.com/">Grand Caribe Belize</a>, <a href="https://www.hilton.com/en/hotels/tzambqq-mahogany-bay-resort-and-beach-club/?SEO_id=GMB-AMER-QQ-TZAMBQQ&y_source=1_MTIxNjk0OTMtNzE1LWxvY2F0aW9uLndlYnNpdGU%3D">Mahogany
Bay Resort & Beach Club</a>, and <a href="https://www.marriott.com/en-us/hotels/sprak-alaia-belize-autograph-collection/overview/">Alaia
Belize, Autograph Collection</a>.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p><span style="color: black; font-family: "Georgia",serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p>
<p><b><span style="color: black; font-family: "Georgia",serif; font-size: 13.5pt;">What
To Do</span></b><span style="color: black; font-family: "Georgia",serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><br />
We are not big excursion people when we travel but when we realized Belize is
really a haven for snorkeling and scuba diving, we decided to partake in one of those
activities (…When in Rome, right?…). We had an incredible day at sea with <a href="http://tuffenuffbz.com/">Tuff E Nuff Tours</a> lead by our boat captain
Pepper and his co-captain and lead swimmer, Raul. They took us to Hol Chan
Marine Reserve where we snorkeled with schools of fish, a nurse shark, sea turtle
and sting rays. We then had lunch and saw a sea horse farm on Caye Caulker,
another island 30 minutes from Ambergris Caye, and walked along the main street
and browsed through shops. Once back on the boat, Pepper took us out to a spot
known for Manatee sightings. Lucky for us, we found one and were able to swim
with it for an hour or so before the swells became dangerously large, and we
headed back to shore. It was a great day though exhausting for all of us,
especially the children.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p><span style="color: black; font-family: "Georgia",serif; font-size: 13.5pt;">We
also visited the following shops several times while on the island:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><a href="https://belizechocolatecompany.com/">Belize
Chocolate Company</a>, <a href="https://www.tripadvisor.com/Restaurant_Review-g291962-d11957059-Reviews-French_Croissant-San_Pedro_Ambergris_Caye_Belize_Cayes.html">French
Croissant</a> and for great souvenirs, <a href="https://www.belizeanbreezes.com/shop">Belizean Breezes Soap Company.</a><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p><span style="color: black; font-family: "Georgia",serif; font-size: 13.5pt;">In conclusion,
I’m an advocate of exploring the world and have zero regrets about spending a
week in Belize.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>With this said, since we
were looking for a beach destination, this was not a good fit for our family in
terms of returning (like we do with Mexican destinations).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If you are a fan of snorkeling or diving,
this is definitely a place you should visit but if not, perhaps look for options in the Caribbean or on the Mexican Riviera.<o:p></o:p></span></p><br /><p></p>Leslie Alexander Paffehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03923742445321250754noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3218472158137600809.post-16680097010658068862022-06-17T13:15:00.001-07:002022-06-17T13:15:44.444-07:00How did this happen?<p> Was it a sign from God I need to revisit blogging? I have no idea but like those of you that subscribed to my blogpost back in 2012 while we were experiencing pregnancy trauma, you likely received a slew of blogs I created nearly ten years ago a few weeks ago in your inbox. I thought my account had been hacked, and heck, maybe it was, but it also inspired me to keep writing. </p><p>So, I'm going to do just that. I feel uninspired to post on social media (my gosh, especially Facebook) but I feel equally annoyed with Instagram so maybe I can use my words to talk about what's on my mind and hopefully do it in a way that isn't offensive to anyone. My hope is to ask questions that encourage civil conversation and allow me to see many sides of an issue. I also want to share our travel experiences since that is something we do several times a year...</p><p>And with that, my next post will be about our trip to Belize...</p><p>Thanks for reading!</p>Leslie Alexander Paffehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03923742445321250754noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3218472158137600809.post-84375242391235652802014-12-21T21:45:00.001-08:002014-12-21T21:45:10.805-08:00The Cover Of A BookMy reflection of 2014 continues as I look ahead to
the possibilities 2015 holds for me. I’m late with Christmas
cards this year so while firmly pressing the last address labels onto the
pearly white envelopes that carry photographs of our year to those that we
love, I’m flooded with memories of people that have graced our lives and was brought
back to an experience this year I’m embarrassed to admit. In the spirit of bettering myself moving
forward, here’s my story of one helluva good book!<br /><div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Not long ago, while fighting my way through a mass of people
trying to reach my Southwest Airlines gate at Baltimore International Airport, I was a minute late and almost $150 poorer in
the pocketbook. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My “A 23” boarding spot ended-up-being
a “C 44” due to my late arrival at the airport.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As I hastily made my way down the ramp and
onto my flight, I found myself in the most dreaded place for a frequent
flyer…the middle seat!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It was summer, hot as hades outside, which meant by the time
I found a seat, I was disheveled, sweating and a nervous wreck (but thankful I
made the flight)!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Clumsily I fumbled my
way past the woman sitting comfortably in the aisle seat, shoved my leather
brief case with wheels under the seat in front of me and then proceeded to try
and pull out my five pound computer and notes from the previous day’s meetings.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My years of flying have allowed me to meet all sorts of
interesting people.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I usually arrive
early enough at the airport that I’m able to scan my gate and view the vast
quantity of people like a bibliophile does the public library.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So many different stories and chapters of
each person’s book of life are represented and if I’m in the right mood, I’m
anxious to see what "book" I land next to on my flight.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I hate to admit it but I judge every book by its cover.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s human nature I suppose but something I'm trying hard not to do as I would hate for someone to look at me and assume because I’m
without make-up and perfectly coiffed hair, that I may be a bad Mom, undependable friend, lazy employee…the list goes on and on.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Alas, this day in question leads me to one of my biggest
downfalls…judging the “book” next to me by the cover.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This book looked to be about 70 years
old.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The cover had deep wrinkles but
hints of perfection in between the chapters of the life it surely held
together.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I assumed this book was well
taken care of by a man as her pages were neatly manicured.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She was reading the “Economist” magazine so I
assumed her story was one of wealth and advantage.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As I tried unsuccessfully to not bother either passenger seated next to me while shoving my huge case beneath the seat in front of me, she said, “I don’t think your brief case is going to fit.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For some reason, probably because I had
already sized her up in about the first minute I was in the seat, her comment
infuriated me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I snapped back, “I fly
all the time and never have had problems with my brief case under the
seat.” Admittedly, the brief case is large and the wheels inevitably cause problems with a proper fit underneath the seat on some older Southwest Airlines planes. Though she was probably right, in that moment all I could think is how dare she saying something
like that to me after the week I’d had away from my family, traveling non-stop!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Why, a person of her age, her arrogance, and
her privilege knows nothing about working,” I concluded to myself.<o:p></o:p></div>
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For the next hour she sat thumbing through her magazine and I sat like a sardine in the damn middle seat stewing about the old-timer sitting next to me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In my mind I called her
every name I could think of, had concocted an Oscar winning story about who this woman was and where she came from and could hardly
wait to get off of the plane to remove myself from the situation.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Usually I don’t do this, even in the midst of
the madness going on in my head I kept saying to myself, “You don’t know her
and these accusations are so unfair.” Even typing it on this post makes me sick to my stomach. It truly was a moment in time I'm ashamed of.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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Half way through the flight, she turned my way and I to
her.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Our eyes met and we both looked
away.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In that moment, I was completely
taken aback. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She was breathtakingly
beautiful.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In an instance of insanity,
before I could catch myself, out of my mouth came, “Oh my gosh you are
beautiful”.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She turned to look at me and
said, “Are you talking to me?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Yes
ma’am,” I said, “You are gorgeous.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And I
meant every word!<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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Those words started a friendship between an old book and one
that has lots to learn about judging covers that encompass us all.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> In two hours remaining on our flight, I learned about a lifetime that made-up her book of life. </span>This was the first time she had flown since her
husband of over fifty years had died of cancer.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Her daughter lives in Texas and her grandson attends college in Colorado
so she was flying to meet them both to get his door room set-up for another
year of schooling. She was convinced her daughter was worrying about her being at home alone and therefore invited her to Denver for a long weekend.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> As we continued to discuss our lives, </span>my new friend told me she has two masters’ degrees and worked in academia her entire career.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You see, she was not a kept woman at all but a woman
that broke through barriers in order to give some smart-ass younger person, like me, a fighting chance at success in the world as a woman.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She has a brilliant mind but one that, in
that moment, was incredibly fragile as she had to learn how to navigate in this
world alone for the first time in her adult life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> I learned </span>her neighborhood is full of people that love
her and the church she attends has been rock solid as she continued to find her
footing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She told me she was “blessed”
but somehow I could not help but feel the true blessings were to those that came
into contact with her.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This is the kind
of book I love to read.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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The flight ended entirely too soon and I found myself
overcome with guilt about the horrible things I thought of such a lovely person.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Mary Ann and I have stayed in touch since
then.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I imagine this holiday will be
incredibly difficult for her and her family.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>As I plan for great things in 2015, my biggest hope is I’m able to view
all of the “books” around me knowing they each tell a story that has impacted how their cover looks at the moment my eyes see them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Regardless
of what the outside looks like; worn, polished, pulled together perfectly or a
complete disaster, when my book is completed, I hope others can read it before they make snap judgments about me based on how my cover looks.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Of all the learnings I've gathered this year, perhaps this is the greatest one of all.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<!--EndFragment--><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #262626; mso-bidi-font-family: Times;">“Judge
tenderly, if you must. There is usually a side you have not heard, a story you
know nothing about, and a battle waged that you are not having to fight.” –
Traci Lea LaRussa</span><o:p></o:p></div>
Leslie Alexander Paffehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03923742445321250754noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3218472158137600809.post-59135448992087263832014-12-09T21:20:00.000-08:002014-12-09T21:20:40.248-08:002014 Year In Rewind<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I just
returned from a walk down memory lane though this walk was not on my usual
route. The usual path starts at Failed Marriage Drive, heads north down
Dating Douche Bag Street, turns left on Cancer Way, heads westward when I hit
the fork in the road between Dream Chasing Avenue and Motherhood Street and
usually ends at Emotional Breakdown Blvd. This path is followed several
times a year where I am always drawn to the same conclusion, it's a miracle I
am where I am with the crazy life I've lived! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">My walk
this week began while looking at my sister-in-law's new company website and
searching her competition to see how she matches up. While searching, I
ran across my blog page and began reading the blogs that consumed my life for a
three-month stretch of time in 2012 and decided that I needed to write about
our year. So, in lieu of sending a neatly typed note in our yearly
Christmas card, this year I'm saving trees and taking up my edge of cypher
space with our year in rewind. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">2014 may
go down as one of the most stressful years of our lives. I read an
article recently </span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">and took
one of those fun online "quizzes" that asks the fool (i.e. </span><i style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">me</i><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">)
to check the box next to all of the "major life events" that have
taken place in the past 12 to 24 months. At the end I was instructed to
add up my score and voila, the 300+ points I racked-up made me highly
susceptible to anxiety-induced illness!! Well, Merry Christmas to you too
online quiz!! Now, give me a moment to go throwaway my snotty Kleenex!</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">February
1 was a milestone for our family, Elyse celebrated her first
birthday which meant we made it through one whole year with a kid
that is still a living and breathing being. I have no idea how we managed
to keep her alive but we did and I thank God daily for it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Gayland
started the year with a new lease on life or at least work. In December
of 2013, Dell offered a global buy-out to all employees, which Gayland jumped
on like Will Rogers jumped on Soapsuds' back to ride off into the Oklahoma
sunset. We loaded up our wagons and headed north until we found a spot
that seemed like a good place to set down roots which, to these city-slickers,
is two miles due east of downtown Denver, CO. We bought a house, set-up
shop and have loved our time in the Mile High city surrounded by beautiful
scenery, seasons and a whole slew of fabulous people! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">When you
take a buy-out from a company, you are effectively, jobless, which means…no...
job, no income, and a wife that's living on pins and needles. Luckily for
our daughter, she was able to spend hour-upon-hour of quality time with her
Dad! This is the best gift they could have given each other.
Gayland began his short stint as stay-at home-Dad and perhaps God’s
biggest small blessing was all of the time Elyse and he had to bond. No
amount of money can buy that kind of time back and I'm thankful! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">With what
seemed like constant change, the one thing we could rely on was the consistency
of my job, which I've had for over four years, <i>right? R-i-g-h-t….</i>that
is until two days after we arrived in Denver my boss called to let me know the
"great news"! The sales team had restructured and the whole
scope of my job had changed. I was now on a new team with a new manager
focusing on our strategic partnerships, which essentially meant all new
customers (with the exception of a few) and non-traditional restaurant
companies (hotels, grocery stores, convenience stores, cruise lines,
entertainment, etc.). My territory went from six states to fifty and
everything I thought I knew about the world of restaurants changed in the
matter of seconds. It's been exhilarating and scary and rewarding and
fulfilling and maddening and nauseating! If you've ever had new job
you get what I'm saying!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The worst
thing we endured this year was what felt like the very sudden passing of
Gayland's Mom, Mary, in May. Looking back, her health began to decline
after her 70th birthday party, which was in August of 2009. She was in
incredible pain every moment of every day for the past few years and when we
finally received a diagnosis of her illness, all of the years of suffering made
complete sense. Multiple Myeloma is a complete Bitch! If it were a
woman I would take her out back and give her an old fashioned
ass whoopin'! Cancer has no discrimination, fear or care of the
lives it wrecks. I hate it! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">A week
prior to Mary's death, Gayland landed a "hunter" sales job which put
him outside again but still in technology with a company called Zones. He
actively pursues new partnerships and resale’s products such as HP and Dell
hardware and software for companies like Oracle. He loves the challenge of establishing a brand virtually unknown in the Denver technology world and new work relationships</span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">! </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">My summer
was spent traveling non-stop, experiencing people and places I never thought in
my wildest dreams I get to meet and see. Though being on the road is
draining, visiting the Pentagon twice in a few months time made it all worth
it. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">In
November, our New York City experience came full circle when we took Elyse back
to our adopted home to visit the nurse, doctors and sonographer as well as
restaurants and friends that have left an indelible impact on our lives
forever. I plan to write a separate blog post about this experience but
suffice it to say, it has made my heart whole again. OH, and while in
Manhattan, I was lucky enough to finally complete the NYC marathon…pretty
awesome! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">So, this
leads me to December 9 and two days before we leave for Tennessee to visit
Gayland's family for the first time without Mary. You know, Mary was
Jesus' mother and for Christians, the mother of our faith. I can't
imagine how she must have felt when her son gave his life on the cross.
It must have been horrific to lose someone you loved with all of your
heart and soul. As I think about the upcoming holidays, Mary and Mary
come to my mind. To my mother-in-law, I'm forever grateful she gave me
her son to love until the end of time and for the other Mary, I'm so thankful I
get to celebrate the birth of her son, Jesus, who gave his life for mine.
CHRISTmas always reminds me of the full circle of life. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">In closing, my hope is this holiday season fills your heart with peace,
tranquility and thankfulness. Merry Christmas to you all and a Happy
2015!</span><span style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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Leslie Alexander Paffehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03923742445321250754noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3218472158137600809.post-64642529500630200022013-11-28T07:23:00.000-08:002013-11-28T07:23:04.984-08:00A year, not just a day of giving Thanks!<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<span style="font-family: Arial;">374 days
ago, Gayland and I were sitting in a shoebox-sized Manhattan high rise
apartment relishing in the fact that in one day we would celebrate two
things: Having made it to our first milestone in the pregnancy post
hospitalization, 28 weeks gestation, and Thanksgiving! Though we were
without family or friends to share the season with, it still was the best
Thanksgiving of our lives as we had overcome what seemed impossible and
unachievable a mere five weeks before, staying pregnant! It was a miracle
then and remains a miracle now that Elyse is so perfect! </span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial;">Jump
ahead a year and we find ourselves again giving thanks for the bountiful
blessings for which we have been bestowed. Needless to say, we are
thankful we're in this life stage and not that one but we wouldn't trade that
experience, the city or the fantastic people that forever touched our lives for
the world! </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial;">In
preparing my "list of thanksgiving" this year, I
thought it appropriate to look-up how the word <i>Thanksgiving </i>is actually
defined. Ole Mr. Webster says <i>Thanksgiving</i> is “the act of giving
thanks; grateful acknowledgement of benefits or favors, especially to God.”
Well eat a whole pie for Thanksgiving dessert and don't county your Weight
Watchers points, he might as well have said Thanksgiving is defined as
“Leslie Paffe’s life” because the two are one in the same!!</span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial;">As I
bethink on the year behind, I want to give thanks to God for my biggest
blessings of 2013:</span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial;">1.</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';">
</span><b><span style="font-family: Arial;">Elyse Harlan Paffe</span></b><span style="font-family: Arial;"> – there are no words…if you’re a
parent; you get it…I can’t explain beyond that. She’s our world.</span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial;">2.</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';">
</span><b><span style="font-family: Arial;">Ignorance</span></b><span style="font-family: Arial;"> – I’m thankful I didn’t know,
regardless how many times I was warned, how hard the first six weeks of
parenthood is. There is no preparation for sleeping in two hour
increments, post-partum hormones (I still take drugs to remind me of those damn
hormones), inconsolable crying, weird baby noises OH and balancing all of
that with the fact you still have a marriage to keep in tact. Yea, I’m
thankful I didn’t know all of that!</span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial;">3.</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';"> </span><b><span style="font-family: Arial;">Turning 37</span></b><span style="font-family: Arial;"> (in a month) - I’ve finally come
into my own and this person, thankfully, looks different than the person I
thought I would and should be. I’m honored to say I’m a wife, mother,
daughter, sister, aunt, niece, career-woman, part-time dream chaser, athlete,
pie and cooking-maker, wine drinker, fantastic food enjoying friend.</span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial;">4.</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';"> <b>
</b></span><b><span style="font-family: Arial;">Family</span></b><span style="font-family: Arial;"> – It’s dysfunctional and crazy and
maddening and beautiful and unique. I wouldn’t trade any of them for the
world. </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial;">5.</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';"> <b>
</b></span><b><span style="font-family: Arial;">Friends</span></b><span style="font-family: Arial;"> –I have been incredibly blessed to
have a few that date back nearly thirty years, one that goes back to 2000 a few
from my days in Nashville and newer friendships I cherish as much as the old
ones. Regardless where they fall on the timeline of my life, I’m so
thankful for them all.</span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial;">6.</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';">
</span><b><span style="font-family: Arial;">Opportunity</span></b><span style="font-family: Arial;"> – We live in a free country full of
opportunity if we only allow our minds to see beyond the limitations we set for
ourselves. For this, I’m thankful.</span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial;">7.</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';"> <b>
</b></span><b><span style="font-family: Arial;">Faith</span></b><span style="font-family: Arial;"> – It has kept me warm in the
coldest days of my life and allows me to exhale deeply knowing God is in
control and will lead us where we are supposed to go. </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial;">8.</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';">
</span><b><span style="font-family: Arial;">An amazing job </span></b><span style="font-family: Arial;">– Working for companies life Spurs
Sports & Entertainment and GSD&M Advertising look good on a
resume. Though they both provided memorable experiences and lasting
friendships, not until I worked for the National Restaurant Association did I
realize having a job could be fun! I love my company, my bosses, co-workers
and customers. My wish is everyone could enjoy his or her work as much as
I enjoy mine.</span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial;">9.</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';">
</span><b><span style="font-family: Arial;">Breastfeeding</span></b><span style="font-family: Arial;"> – It has been one of the biggest
joys in my life. With all the complications from the pregnancy, birth and
post-partum issues, it still remains the only thing I planned to do that
actually worked. My goal was six months and I’m almost at ten. With
a strenuous travel schedule, I thought it impossible to continue, so this was,
and will remain one of my biggest blessings of the year.</span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial;">10.
<b>Forgiveness</b> – Generally speaking, nothing specific. In the
past year it has granted me the freedom to move on while still loving those
that intentionally or unintentionally caused pain. This is the biggest
blessing we can give others and our selves.</span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial;">As we all
gather around the table, my hope is your day is filled with family, friends,
memories, hope for the future and thankfulness for those things in
life we take for granted. Thanks to each of you for the goodness you have
brought to ours.</span><o:p></o:p></div>
<!--EndFragment--><br />
<!--EndFragment-->Leslie Alexander Paffehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03923742445321250754noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3218472158137600809.post-45494624280380880242013-10-13T11:14:00.000-07:002013-10-13T11:14:28.795-07:00The Cab Of A Pick-Up
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<br />
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The cab of a pick-up hosts the stage for the story of my
life. Profoundly appropriate I suppose
since I was born into a car dealing family in South Texas. Two years ago today I found myself in a
peculiarly uncomfortable, yet familiar place.
There were two people in this pick-up, Gayland and me. For the first time in any relationship, I was
riding shotgun next to the man at the wheel.
(In all other relationships, I was always the driver and that never,
ever worked!) He was looking through a
clear windshield focused on the road ahead, while my eyes were securely fixed
in the rear view mirror looking at the disaster my life had been behind me. All I could think about was what we were heading
for in the following week…marriage. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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We knew we were about to embark on the biggest adventure of
our lives but very few others did.
Perhaps this only magnified the anxiety I felt, only having a select few
to talk with about my apprehension and fear of committing to someone for the
second time. I vividly remember talking
with him about my angst, expressing as eloquently as I could that I was scared
once we dove into holy matrimony everything would change and we would not only fall
out of love, we might not like each other too after the wedding was over. His response was simple yet pure perfection,
“And what if our future is better than we can ever imagine?” The thought of everlasting happiness had
never entered my mind. That goes to show
the baggage I carried around for so many years!
No wonder my back always hurt!<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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He was right and I left the baggage in the Dominican
Republic. It has been better than I
could have EVER, EVER imagined, every mountain we’ve climbed, every valley
we’ve hiked through and every obstacle we’ve successfully overcome, I wouldn’t
change a thing! It has honestly been the
best two years of my entire life.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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As we approach our second wedding anniversary in less than a
week, I sit with him, in the “cab of our pick-up”, with sweet Baby Elyse in the
back seat squealing, flailing her arms, kicking her perfect feet holding tight
to his hand, thanking God every moment that he gave me this man, this child,
and a clear windshield to look through at the long and glorious road ahead.<o:p></o:p></div>
<!--EndFragment-->Leslie Alexander Paffehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03923742445321250754noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3218472158137600809.post-62001749214379590272013-07-22T20:31:00.000-07:002013-07-22T20:31:10.630-07:00The Curious Experience of Breastfeeding...
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<span class="s3">As I sit on yet another flight 36,000 feet above the
expansive landscape of the southwest, I find myself thinking about motherhood
but specifically, my experience with breastfeeding. Breastfeeding has
been the subject of many conversations in the media as of late and also sparked
controversy amongst women that are passionate about it and those that choose
not to or cannot (anyone remember the Time magazine cover, "Are you Mom
enough" - May 21, 2012?). I have friends that breast fed their
children for upward of two years and I know people that chose to strictly use
formula. Whichever choice was made, the decision did not make one mother
better over another. I'm no medical expert so I cannot speak to the
medical benefits of breastfeeding over formula or vice-versa but what I can
speak to is my experience as a full-time-working-outside-the-home, road warrior
traveling, breastfeeding mother.</span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="s2" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span class="s3">What has been surprising to me is how discussing the female
breast, even in the context of nourishing my daughter, always turns sexual in
nature and inevitably, leaves me feeling uncomfortable. I suppose this is
due to the fact our society sensationalizes the female anatomy. I'm not
the mom that whips out the boob in public without a cover to either pump or
feed my daughter but I wish breastfeeding did not cause such a stink! I'm
tired of feeling shameful when I have to bust out my breast pump and
subsequently my breasts (and my cover), in the middle of a church parking lot
in San Antonio, TX or stopping at a hardware store in the industrial area of
Denver to buy dry ice to carry my daughter's livelihood back to her in Texas.
I completely understand why working mothers don't continue nursing once
their maternity leave has ended and they are back in an office environment.
It literally is a second full-time job but a job I take very seriously
and am thankful I have the ability to do.</span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="s2" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span class="s3">There are many things I anticipated while pregnant that
have become reality since Elyse's birth. Breastfeeding I thought would be
important to me but I could not have known HOW important it would be until it
became the only thing I planned that actually worked out the way I wanted it
to. From her birth, my goal has been nursing for six months. Even
though the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends breast feeding for a year
or more, I felt like six months would be achievable considering my
extensive travel schedule for work. What I did not anticipate is the anxiety and
sadness I am beginning to feel as she has started nursing less due to the
addition of cereal, fruits and vegetables. People tell you all kinds of
things, both good and bad, when you are pregnant but not one person, even my
lactation leader from the Le Leche League, told me that nourishing my
child with my own body would create a bond beyond imagination.
I was also not told that beginning the weaning process
would tear my heart to shreds and leave me anxiety ridden.
How did breast feeding become my saving grace
in a year full of ups, downs and disappointments? It's the one thing no one
else on earth can do for my daughter. </span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="s2" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span class="s3">While my six month nursing goal will be here next week, I
don't believe emotionally I am ready to throw in the towel just yet (even
though the thought of pumping in one more airport stall is enough to send me
jumping from a plane sans a parachute). In the scheme of life, this
period of time is a small sacrifice to make for my daughter's sake. I
cherish and cling to the encouraging comments from other Moms that have walked
in my shoes and I love my husband more and more each day for supporting my
decision to stay the course. And in those coming years when Elyse and I
spar over everything under the moon, I will look back fondly on this time we
shared and thank God for the bond formed over…breastfeeding.</span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<!--EndFragment-->Leslie Alexander Paffehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03923742445321250754noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3218472158137600809.post-60397139197049073222013-03-09T14:38:00.001-08:002013-03-09T14:38:59.666-08:00Motherhood -- Five Weeks In
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<div class="MsoNormal">
You
all were right! It's the hardest and best thing I've ever experienced!
In the first days post-delivery I only hoped I would get to a place where
I could write about my story. At just over five weeks as a Mom, I'm
finally at a place where I can share what I've been through without falling to
pieces. My hope is this post is not used to judge me but rather helps me
continue to heal and perhaps can help other women going through a difficult
pregnancy, delivery and post-partum period.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
As
I stated in my last post, the delivery was a nightmare (along with most of the
pregnancy though we've chosen to focus on only the good that came from our
experience). The first week home from the hospital I was a basket case!
When the baby cried so did I. Extreme swelling over took my lower
extremities (to the point I could not fit into my maternity clothes when we
took the baby to her first appointment with the pediatrician) and my anxiety was so severe I
ended-up in the doctor's office with symptoms of a heart attack only to realize
I was having an anxiety attack. Since the late 90's I've been on
different kinds of anti-anxiety medications but in 2010 during my annual visit
with my OBGYN she told me the medication I was taking was not safe during
pregnancy so I decided to go without it and was able to control the anxiety
with exercise, healthy eating and counseling. Jump ahead to October 22,
2012, and a trip to a New York City hospital with three months of bed rest and
all-of-a-sudden my coping mechanisms immediately disappeared and I was left
with the worst anxiety I've ever experienced. Coupled with the delivery
and raging hormones, I was in one of the worst mental states I've ever been in. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Bonding
was proving to be a challenge and the guilt associated with that just about did
me in. The only thing I was able to do successfully was breastfeed but
after a week the baby's latch wasn't right and I was left with blisters on my
nipples that were so painful I was in tears every time she ate (thankfully we
sought help with a lactation consultant and that issue has been resolved).<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
As
my amazing husband said best, "No one can adequately prepare you for sleep
in two hour increments." So, it goes without saying, the sleep deprivation
was a bitch! To be honest, I don't remember much about sleep during those
early days. I did try to nap during the day but the anxiety proved to
make that a challenge as well.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The hardest thing for me to deal with is something I've only shared with one other person until the last few days, I have OCD that manifests itself
in obsessive thoughts. Since high school I've been plagued with the
condition and only recently have come to realize what causes them (the thoughts
began when I was 15 and my step-sister was convicted of accomplice to murder and
put into prison until 2010) and am working on how to overcome them (anxiety triggers
the thought episodes). After 20+ years I finally found a book called
"Overcoming Obsessive Thoughts" and realized I'm not crazy but rather
have figured out what has been, at times, debilitating thought patterns and a
method to stop them. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I
felt like I was so alone in what I was experiencing. I knew the
"Baby Blues" were real but I was heading for full-blown post-partum depression,
which was one of my fears prior to having the baby. At my two week OB
appointment I had a full-fledged breakdown in the office and thankfully my
physician recommended I go on Zoloft to help control my unrealistic fears and
OCD. Having to go on medication made me feel like an epic failure as a
mother. I'm not sure where that thought comes from as I'm a huge advocate
of counseling and mental health awareness but for some reason I felt as though
a real Mom would not need medication to get through this time. It's a
stupid thought really!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Yesterday
my sweet baby girl turned five weeks old and I had a break through. I drove
with her by myself from north Austin to New Braunfels and though there was
anxiety prior to leaving the house, once I was in the car I did beautifully.
I spent the day with my grandmother, aunt and cousin and rejuvenated my
heart, mind and soul. The time spent with these amazing women was the
first time I've felt more like myself and know I'm finally on the path to
mental and emotional healing. It's a beautiful thing!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In
summary, no one could have prepared me for motherhood and I suspect that rings
true for all women experiencing this gift for the first time. What I do
wish, with all of the reading I did before hand, is that someone would have
told me it's normal to have increased anxiety and for those with anxiety
disorders, hormones and lack of sleep can trigger other issues too. But
alas, if they had I probably would have told them to stop with all the
negativity and just share the great parts of motherhood. After all, even
with the unpleasantries I've experienced, every time I kiss those plump little
cheeks, hear a new sound out of her sweet little mouth or watch my husband melt
in her arms I think to myself, "I'd do it all over again to experience
this moment again."<o:p></o:p></div>
<!--EndFragment--> <br />
<br />
Leslie Alexander Paffehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03923742445321250754noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3218472158137600809.post-55728865153499184422013-02-13T16:25:00.000-08:002013-02-13T16:25:53.198-08:00For Unto Us A Child Is Born<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; border-spacing: 0px; font-family: Calibri;">
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February 1, 2013, at 5:34pm Gayland and I
officially began living life! This is the moment our beautiful daughter,
Elyse Harlan Paffe, made her way into our hearts, souls and lives. We are
forever changed and finally found the kind of love only a child can bring into
a family.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Elyse came into the world the only way she
could…making a grandiose introduction! As with the entire pregnancy, the
delivery did not go as planned. We learned from our Austin OB/GYN a few
weeks prior to her birth the reason I stayed pregnant as long as I did was
because of severe scar tissue on my cervix that acted as "cement",
keeping the baby in place. This obviously is a Godsend when you go into
labor at 23 weeks but when it's time for the baby to arrive; it's a nightmare
to deal with. Being armed with this additional knowledge, we still did
not discuss the option of Cesarean because my doctor felt like the scar tissue
could be massaged away during true labor. My water broke on Thursday
evening at 7pm but that too was not 100% until I woke-up in a puddle of fluid
at 3:45am. We arrived at the hospital at 5:30am, were quickly admitted
and had very few contractions. I obviously had not dilated so by 10:30am
with a little help from technology, I was dilated to 3 centimeters where I
stayed all darn day. I had two different doctors and a nurse try to
massage the tissue away but at 5pm it was determined there was a
"knot" of scar tissue on my cervix that would not move regardless of
how much manual massage was done. The doctor said I would not dilate and
recommended we move forward with a C-section. Though not an ideal option
for delivery, the baby's head had been hitting that spot on my cervix for over
7 hours and they did not feel like this would be healthy for the baby long-term
(we saw a red mark on her had after she was delivered where she, with every
contraction, was hitting my cervix). I was whisked into the operating
room where a frenzy of activity began preparing my body for the surgery.
All went well initially but evidently, the epidural that was put into
place earlier in the day had jarred lose or was not connected properly because
I could feel every cut the surgeon was doing on my abdomen. Even after
administering additional medication, I was still able to feel the cuts and we
made the split second decision to go under general anesthesia (which isn't the
norm at all…but of course not, nothing has been normal with me and this
pregnancy). They made Gayland leave the room and Elyse was born about 15
minutes later weighing 7 pounds 6 ounces and 19 inches long. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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Ultimately what we wanted was a healthy baby
regardless how she arrived. This has always been our stance but it never
crossed my mind that I would miss her whole birth and be so drugged after she
arrived that I would not have much memory of the rest of the day. It has
been nothing short of heart breaking. When I finally woke-up I remember
the nurses saying, "It's a girl" and I had no idea what they were
talking about. Even when I figured out I was coming out of surgery and
our Baby P was in fact a girl, it didn't really register with me I had finally
given birth. To add insult to injury, Gayland was not allowed to witness
her birth either and learned it was a girl by hearing nurses in the operating
room refer to the new baby as "she". Again, I can hardly think
about the whole experience as it makes me nauseous. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
On a happier note, I was able to breast-feed her
fairly quickly after she arrived but I don't remember that either. My
parents made their way into the recovery room but I was so out of it I didn't
talk with them very much. Everyone did get to hold the baby, which was
great, but not as we had hoped that part of the birth would unfold. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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The first night was incredibly difficult.
Gayland, Elyse and I did not sleep at all. Between the tiny noises
she made, trying to figure out how to change her diaper and feed her, I was an
absolute mess by 4:30am. I woke-up with the worst anxiety I've ever had
due to the fact I missed out on what I perceived to be the most important part
of delivery...her actual birth. I was in a panic as I felt as though we had
not bonded properly and that too was almost more than I could stand. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Over the next few days our experiences with the
baby began to grow. I was able to hold and nurse her on a more regular
basis, Gayland began his designated daddy duties as the "CDC" (Chief
Diaper Changer) and my Mom (Chi Chi) came to the hospital each morning to spend
the day with us. We also welcomed my grandmother and aunts as well.
It slowly started feeling like Elyse was finally part of our family.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Like many of you told me, it is hard being a
Mom...the sleep deprivation, nursing, learning about our new little person,
etc. but the wonderful things this little angel brings to our life far out
weigh any negativity we have experienced.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj74O8tqzKcSehcev6f2OT1g8Fkqr6SKW3c5sEYUnCkOpOtFhrLbcdYTzhOOX9fIqnhadwN0LdbqCb3D0dj4t5Pu8UmWYZxwh35K_pyV4tnakSRj6MZX-bN4G_wZWFuWs-jOjeUB0Zfcfdo/s1600/IMG_1110.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj74O8tqzKcSehcev6f2OT1g8Fkqr6SKW3c5sEYUnCkOpOtFhrLbcdYTzhOOX9fIqnhadwN0LdbqCb3D0dj4t5Pu8UmWYZxwh35K_pyV4tnakSRj6MZX-bN4G_wZWFuWs-jOjeUB0Zfcfdo/s320/IMG_1110.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhuH2s8KalUS_H0eTlSoeM32PR-YvP10fi-kzKyq7mhlJYZ3rMddkBXoJ1XYSzfiZSkguoASlEIKezG0FTbqAbCFFB-2fJDUIuzETvY7msPO_lVzhkcyopz_cyqqAOb3Wv0TCWRAuGwEjDp/s1600/IMG_1114.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhuH2s8KalUS_H0eTlSoeM32PR-YvP10fi-kzKyq7mhlJYZ3rMddkBXoJ1XYSzfiZSkguoASlEIKezG0FTbqAbCFFB-2fJDUIuzETvY7msPO_lVzhkcyopz_cyqqAOb3Wv0TCWRAuGwEjDp/s320/IMG_1114.JPG" width="192" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14pt;"><br /></span></div>
<!--EndFragment-->Leslie Alexander Paffehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03923742445321250754noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3218472158137600809.post-11387393159246845712013-01-24T19:40:00.001-08:002013-01-24T20:05:17.592-08:00Tell Me Something Good!<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<span style="font-size: 11pt;">This morning while finishing-up my whole grain
Cream of Wheat and blueberry bran muffin (yep, no constipation with this
pregnant lady) a Huggies' commercial came across my television screen. A
female actress comes running out of what I presume is the bathroom holding a
white stick in her hand waving it crazily in the air while screaming to her
actor husband who is standing outside of the house, "Honey, we're
pregnant." The man comes running into the house hastily grabbing his
wife while they shriek with excitement about the new addition coming to their
family. I just laughed at the commercial. That was SO not me when I
found out I was pregnant.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 11pt;">I spent the first fourteen weeks sulking in agony
over the all-day sickness I was having and wallowing in self-pity over every
aspect of the life I knew and loved that was going to end when this child I was
carrying arrived into the world. I made a decision I would not share our
news over any social media site...EVER! My growing belly and expanding
waistline, my anger over the pregnancy and the fear of potential miscarriage all
lead to a life of misery for the first trimester. In addition, I decided
I would not read one blog about becoming a Mom and would absolutely NOT buy
"What to Expect When You're Expecting" or any other pregnancy book
for that matter. I'm old now, which by default means many women have gone
before me on this journey, so I decided to rely on my friends to give me the
information I wanted to know once the pregnancy sunk in.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 11pt;">In mid-September I had a meeting in Beaver Creek,
CO, where one of my favorite customers told me she read "What To
Expect..." front to back and had the whole book memorized by the time her
son was born and highly recommended it. That's about the time I felt the
baby move for the first time and was able to accept we were going to be parents
and truth be known, was actually very excited. At that point I decided to
rethink my first trimester boycott on pregnancy materials and devoured
everything I could get my hands on...Mommy blogs, Jenny McCarthy's books, Vicki
Iovine's "The Girlfriends' Guide to Pregnancy," “What To Expect When
You’re Expecting” and I asked every mom I knew what she thought I should know
about pregnancy and motherhood. Perhaps this is where I went wrong...<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 11pt;">By in large, everything I've read or have been told
are horror stories of being pregnant, giving birth and how incredibly
"awful" the first part of motherhood really is. What people
will say either in conversation or put into writing always begins with,
"Let me tell you how it really is..." or “I wish someone would have
told me…” If I had a dollar for how many times I've read or heard how someone's
husband is a complete "asshole" I would be a millionaire.
REALLY? I wouldn't call my husband that name even in our worst argument (after all he is the father of my child and the man I chose to spend
my life with). I'm sure some men are unhelpful, especially during the
first weeks postpartum, but isn't he trying to adjust to the new life with the
child like I am? I would hate to think
Gayland is with his friends or typing blogs calling me a “bitch” all the
time. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 11pt;">I also keep reading or being told, "Your life
will never be the same" or "Breastfeeding is the hardest thing I've
ever done in my life" and "The sleep deprivation will just about kill
you"...OK! I get it! My life is about to be absolute hell on
earth! My bosoms are going to hurt like hell when the milk comes in, sleeping in two hour increments is
torturous, the baby is going to cry all the time, etc., etc, etc...shall I continue?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 11pt;">Imagine if, while we were preparing for our trip to
New York, all I heard from those that had gone before us was horror stories
about the city like.... everything is so expensive, the tables in restaurants
are on top of each other, public transportation is scary, the weather is
unpredictable, lines at tourist locations are long and unreasonable, New
Yorkers are rude and obnoxious, everyone smokes and OH, by the way, you're
going to go into labor while you're there, your child will almost die, you will
spend the majority of your savings on a 2.5 month extended vacation and be
forced to go on bed rest...Yea, we would have <b><i>really</i></b> looked
forward to that trip! In some cases,
ignorance is bliss. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 11pt;">I've spent the last three weeks in my counseling sessions agonizing
about all of the negativity I've read and am being told about what is coming
our way in the next few weeks! I want to SCREAM from the rooftops,
"Can someone PLEASE just tell me what is good about not only childbirth
but also this little life that is about to be part of our family?"
For those that have paved the path before us on the journey to parenthood,
my gosh, tread lightly with all the stories! It's good to tell pregnant
women some of the challenges facing us but it's equally important to relay all
of the great things that you've encountered with your child/children as well.
We (first-time pregos) will read all about how it "really is"
in books, blogs, birthing/lactations classes and through our medical
professionals. Dang, if it’s that bad why on earth would any body want to
have a family? I can hear the naysayers
now, “Man, she is so naïve.” GOOD! There’s nothing wrong with a little naivety
if things are truly as bad as everyone says they will be. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 11pt;">May I make a recommendation, please? As friends, let the pregos<a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=3218472158137600809" name="_GoBack"></a> asking the questions know that yes, things will be hard a
first but the joy you see when looking into your child's eyes far out weighs
all the trials and tribulations you faced.
Your kind words might just make this journey a little more enjoyable for
those of us still going through it. And
for those few women that have told me how great it is to be a Mom, THANK
YOU…your kind words are what I hold on to while the rest of the world tells me
my life is about to end.</span><span style="font-size: 11.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<!--EndFragment--><br />
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Leslie Alexander Paffehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03923742445321250754noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3218472158137600809.post-52123710665468611012013-01-22T13:41:00.000-08:002013-01-22T13:41:38.129-08:00Just Like My Husband
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 10pt;">Having a baby, especially for the first time, is
exciting/scary/emotional/intimidating/humbling and every other emotion in
between. For us, we have the added element of surprise since we don't
know the baby's gender. We made a conscious decision to not find out the
baby's sex based on our doctor's recommendation and never looked back.
When all hell broke lose in October we became even more adamant about not
finding out the sex the more sonograms we had and the longer the added stress
existed. If the baby would have been born at 24, 28, 30 weeks we would
have had an uphill battle to fight but at least we would have had a moment of
happiness finding out if Baby P was a he or she.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 10pt;">Now that we are approaching 37 weeks, we feel
fairly confident the Sweet P will be healthy and are still excited to find out
the sex. Having this element of surprise left keeps me secretly praying
we have a boy. I love letting people guess what they think the baby is
going to be and the reasons why they "know" it's either a boy or
girl...so much fun!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10pt;">Regardless of the gender, I pray loudly and openly
this child comes out and is my husband made over. As I've watched and
loved him over the past (almost) four years, there are so many qualities about
this man that I wish I possessed myself. Less is about his looks, though
I think he is hotter than a Texas habanero, and more is about his approach to
life. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-size: 10pt;">1.)<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-size: 10pt;">He is a
consummate optimist. Never a negative thought enters his mind that
something bad might come from an obstacle we face. I, on the other hand, only
see the worst possible scenario that could ever come even if that scenario is
so far from statistically possible from really occurring. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-size: 10pt;">2.)<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-size: 10pt;">He is
calm and I am anxious and high-strung. If we were going off to war and on
the front lines of a battlefield I would want him leading the charge. He
never gets his feathers ruffled even when doomsday seems to be upon us. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-size: 10pt;">3.)<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-size: 10pt;">He has a
small but very tight-knit group of friends that he is dedicated and loyal to.
Most of these men have been in his life for 15+ years and stand by each
other through thick and thin. My circle of friends at times is probably
too large and I expect more than most are able to give which leaves me feeling
hurt and angry. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-size: 10pt;">4.)<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-size: 10pt;">He is the
master at a work-life balance. He works incredibly hard during the day
but when the day is done, he is focused on family. Not me! I have
my computer, phone and any other device that gives me internet access going all
the time and do whatever it takes to make sure I'm on top of my game...even
when I'm on medical leave. Yes, ambition is good but not when it gets in
the way of what's most important, family. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 10pt;">There is one trait we both share and that is undying and unconditional
love for each other. I do hope Baby P gets that gene and then some as
this is one asset I wouldn’t mind sharing with my child. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 10pt;">But, what is most likely to happen is that karma is a bitch and I will
end-up with a girl that will be just like her mother. I will spend the rest of my days looking at
myself through the eyes of my daughter and hoping and praying she ends-up just
like her father who is a better person than I will ever be on my best day.</span><a href="" name="_GoBack"></a><span style="font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<!--EndFragment-->Leslie Alexander Paffehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03923742445321250754noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3218472158137600809.post-6275191679707448312013-01-16T12:15:00.000-08:002013-01-16T12:15:32.142-08:00Changing Perspective
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<span style="font-size: 10pt;">Question: Has your perspective on one or many
topics recently wavered due to a life event: marriage, divorce,
parenthood, death of a loved one, negativity on TV, etc.? I'm not sure if my hormones are to
blame or if everyone goes through the changes I'm experiencing when they are a
month or less away from becoming a parent! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10pt;">Over the past week, the same blog post title kept
entering my conscience though the actual subject matter has morphed into
something other than what I intended to originally write about. The
entire post was going to be about a woman I met last week and what she has gone
through being a single mom of a 10-month old little boy who has two holes in
his heart. Having a child with health concerns is enough to make anyone
crazy but where her story inspired me is that she is a single Mom by choice and
made the decision to not take any sort of assistance from either the government
or Good Samaritan type organizations that often help <a href="" name="_GoBack"></a>those
with financial restraints. She works in the nail salon where I get manicures
and pedicures and is on commission. I can only assume she doesn't make
much money but has chosen to save what she does make and take care of her son.
It was amazing to hear her story, told in such a manner that she was not
looking for praise or sympathy but rather very "matter-of-fact" about
how she lives her life. The only "help" she does receive is
through a local church in the form of emotional support. This church has
a mentor program that pairs people with certain "needs" together with
a member of the congregation. She and her mentor
meet on a monthly or bi-weekly basis for lunch to talk through her concerns as
being a young, single mom. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10pt;">"So, she's a single parent and doesn't get
welfare, who cares," some of you may ask? I grew up in a part of
Texas where people fall into a cycle of abusing services provided by government,
etc. because that's all they know. We also live in a society where the
majority of people live beyond their means so when something happens in their
lives where they lose financial ability to support not only themselves but
their families, they rely on others to pull them through. I was simply
inspired by the fact this woman lives her life the way she does and it gave me a
new perspective about our situation with Baby P. Just about the time you think you're going
through a difficult time, inevitably you will meet someone that has it ten
times worse than you could imagine on your worst day.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10pt;">Now, back to my "changing perspective"
theme for this post. I can't help but find myself feeling a wide
array of emotions and having very definitive thoughts about things that used to
not bother me at all...Using generalities here, I don't understand how people
can get so caught up in being for or against a specific side of a subject that
they let their “views” get in the way of what could potentially be best for
most Americans. When did our society become so incredibly divided and
either super right-winged or super left-winged? And why do athletes lie,
cheat, bully and hurt others for the sake of fame and fortune? And as
fans, why are we not mad as hell that they do it and so quickly continue
supporting them after the media hype has settled down? Is this what our
kids should aspire to...To have a life built on lies, violence, cheating &
bullying others to get their way and "win"? And how can thousands of people get
murdered every day and we can't have an open discussion about not only mental
health issues, video game violence but ALSO some sort of gun control?
*And for the record here, I grew up shooting guns and am a current gun
owner so I'm NOT against guns or the 2<sup>nd</sup> Amendment. * I have
so many questions that rattle around in this 'ole brain of mine and make me
crazy! For whatever reason, I can’t seem to find a pleasing answer to any
of them!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10pt;">Maybe all of these feelings are now because these are subjects we are
about to address for the first time in our own lives so I'm feeling more
passionately about them or perhaps, it's just the state of the world we live in
with constant access to information. The only thing I know for sure is I
try my hardest to give everyone a chance to speak their mind and earnestly try
to appreciate where they are coming from even if their views differ from my
own. As the old saying goes, God gave us two ears and one mouth for a
reason...to listen more and talk less. I'm still a work in progress but I
feel like it allows so many great, new conversations and people into my life
living this way. Believe me, my perspective on most of these topics has
drastically changed over the past year or so. I’m beginning to wonder, am
I crazy or what? What are your thoughts and did you or have you
experienced a shift in thinking recently?</span><span style="font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<!--EndFragment--><br />
<!--EndFragment-->Leslie Alexander Paffehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03923742445321250754noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3218472158137600809.post-5292057005164226932013-01-09T12:35:00.001-08:002013-01-09T12:35:57.267-08:00Leslie Paffe, the next National Geographic Cover Model<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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I've been told by many reputable sources once this
child is born I won't have time to shower, much less blog about my experience
as a new Mom so while I still have idle hands I'd like to share what my
feelings, emotions and thoughts are at the juncture of our ongoing journey to
parenthood.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Today I'm 35 weeks pregnant and while we're
thrilled the "P" has not made an entrance yet, I am completely over
the whole pregnancy thing at this point. In the words of my doctor,
"I cannot believe you are still pregnant!" Well, that makes three of
us sister and if I had to guess, a whole slew of other folks feel the same way.
It is a miracle I'm thankful to have but my gosh, what in the hell is
happening to my body?<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I remember fondly while in New York taking my
hand-held mirror and looking at myself from behind in a full-length mirror and
noticed my legs (which have not had a work out in close to three months now)
did not have any cellulite on them. Having constant and nagging weight
concerns during this pregnancy, I commented to Gayland what a pleasant surprise
that was. Being the smart and kind man that he is, a gentle smile and
kind nod smiled back at my comment. OK, At least that's what I thought at
the time! When we got back to Austin and I was in the privacy of my own
bathroom with natural and fluorescent lighting streaming through the window and out of the ceiling, I completed the same exercise and
damn near hit the tile floor in disbelief of what I saw! NO CELLULITE??
Yea right! That stuff is large and in charge on this pregnant body!
How flippin' gross! Damn lighting and damn cervix for failing me in
my time of need! Good gracious!<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Then yesterday while dressing for our first
"Birthing Class" I was standing in the same natural light with a stream
of fluorescents beaming down on my large, round body and had a revelation...I
could be the next cover model for National Geographic! You know those
women they feature periodically from remote parts of the Brazilian rainforest that belong to
a tribe of people anthropologists thought were extinct off the planet
hundreds of years ago? You know who they are...the tribal women wear a scrap of leather around their waists held up with a string of tree trunk (except they have pretty legs because they haven't been sitting on their fat asses for the last three months) and due to a lack
of breast support have bosoms that hang to the middle of their stomachs and look
like Chiquita bananas? Yea, I'm that girl right now! So, if your the National Geographic photo
editor and are in need of a model for the February issue, I'm you're girl and
you don't have to endure the bugs and heat of the rainforest to find me!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I hesitate to post the positives for fear the one
thing I have that is keeping me going will mysteriously appear in the next few
weeks so I'll quickly type with my fingers crossed behind my back...I'm
thankful the stretch marks have stayed strategically placed on my hips where
they have been for many, many years and have not moved to other parts of my
body! *Knock on wood!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
To add insult to injury, last night was our first "Birthing
Class" and I knew we would walk in to the room and I'd see that stupid
pregnant lady that I'd want to punch and yep, there she was! Tall,
blonde, skinny legs, skinny hips, perfectly round bump placed upon her
mid-section like a Pea In The Pod model, wearing a cute little black skirt with
her thongs placed perfectly in the crack of her rear where the rest of us could see how small
her butt also was (and I'm not kidding here) and a skin-toned top that only accentuated the fact she was gorgeous. Barf!
On the contrary, here I come waddling in (and yes folks, the waddle in
New York wasn't anything compared to my waddle in Austin) with my black
long-sleeved shirt with multi-color scarf over my bosoms to hide the fact the
only thing comfortable to wear now is a nursing bra that doesn't have padding
or support (use your imagination to figure out what that looks like if I get
the slightest bit cold), dark brown corduroy pants that rub together so hard
when I walk that my thighs could start a fire that would warm up all of Queens,
NY. I just wanted to cry! Granted, most of the people in our class
our about six months pregnant and I'm allowing the fact next week I'll be nine months pregnant to excuse all of the weight I've gained. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I won't bore you with the gory details of what my back now looks like, heat rash ever present under my arms or the fact my face is so round I don't recognize myself most of the time! I guess this is all part of the privilege of being pregnant...it beats the alternative we were facing two months ago...<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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To sum it up, pregnancy has not agreed with me in any shape, form or
fashion! I have much more to say about
the birthing class and my feelings as we sat through three hours of learning
what is about to go down in the ATX when this child is born but…I digress…I’m
holding on to the hope that once they put they baby up on my chest and Gayland
and I get to see what we thought we were going to lose, all of this won’t
matter any more!<o:p></o:p></div>
<!--EndFragment--><br />
<br />
<br />Leslie Alexander Paffehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03923742445321250754noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3218472158137600809.post-37175898129352152642013-01-08T13:22:00.000-08:002013-01-08T13:22:16.371-08:00The "yeas" and "nays" of New York City: Part 2 of 4 -- Bon Appetit
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Happy New Year y'all!! Continuing the blogging segment on our New York overview, today we want to talk about dining
options.<o:p></o:p></div>
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There are no less than a million choices of
cuisine, restaurants, experiences, price-points, etc. available in New
York City. Save up your calories for months in advance as you are in for
a true culinary experience. Every celebrity chef that has appeared on the
Food Network owns a restaurant in the city and every ethnic cuisine you
possibly wanted to try is available as well. We experienced fast-casual,
casual, fine dining and everything in between. Some restaurants are
considered "New York standards" while others you would never hear of
outside of where we lived.... All were great in their own right.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<b><u>Dining</u></b><o:p></o:p></div>
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<ul>
<li>For a true New York diner experience, visit the
"Market Diner" on 11th Avenue at 42nd Street in Hell's Kitchen and
sit at the bar. Jimmy and Billy will take great care of you!</li>
<li>Do plan to eat brunch on Sunday at one of these
places: The David Burke Kitchen (ask for Laurence to be your server) or
CookShop BUT make reservations weeks in advance.</li>
<li>Want real French food? Go to Le Perigord and
splurge for dinner. It is a fine and fabulous restaurant that has been in
Manhattan since 1964 owned by the same family!</li>
<li>For excellent and authentic Spanish tapas, go to
Nai Tapas in the East Village and ask for "Unue" to be your server.</li>
<li>Venture to Harlem and visit Marcus Samuelsson's
eatery called "Red Rooster Harlem". We went for Saturday brunch
but were told Sunday Brunch or Monday dinner is the best time to dine!</li>
<li>For a more casual, American-inspired French
cuisine, go to Anthony Bordain's old stomping grounds at
"Brasserie Les Halles "...absolutely awesome food and service!
We loved this place!</li>
<li>If romance is in order, splurge for dinner at “One
If By Land, Two If By Sea”. Gayland and
I dined for our 1<sup>st</sup> wedding anniversary and enjoyed the atmosphere,
price fixe menu choices and service.</li>
<li>Use Yelp to help find restaurants to visit in the
city. Though there is not a basic platform that provides a base point for
judgment, you can get a fairly good feel if a restaurant is worthy of your
time.</li>
<li>Use your calories to indulge in a cupcake in the city. I indulged
in a few and they were delicious (and from different bakeries).</li>
</ul>
<div>
Bon Appetit!!</div>
<o:p></o:p><br />
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<o:p></o:p></div>
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<o:p></o:p></div>
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<o:p></o:p></div>
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<o:p></o:p></div>
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<o:p></o:p></div>
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<o:p></o:p></div>
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<o:p></o:p></div>
<!--EndFragment--><br />
<br />Leslie Alexander Paffehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03923742445321250754noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3218472158137600809.post-44198173662756576872012-12-28T21:43:00.000-08:002012-12-28T21:43:21.266-08:00The "yeas" and "nays" of New York City: Part 1 of 4
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Merry post-Christmas! We arrived back in
Austin after our 2.5 month stint in New York to a house that was left by
two people going on vacation for four days...filthy refrigerator, underwear
left on the dresser and all! As I figured would happen, it's been an
emotional roller coaster getting home and reflecting on the magnitude of what we endured. We continue to feel blessed that we are now 33+ weeks
pregnant and the baby is weighing in at over 5 pounds. It truly is a
miracle I'm still with child (at least that's what our doctor alluded to during our visit today)!
<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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I plan to continue blogging as we limp along to the
end of the pregnancy (and I mean literally limp! I'm in so much pain these days that not only do I waddle, I also limp!). While it's fresh in our minds, Gayland and I have
decided to compile a four part series of posts highlighting the following areas
of our New York City adventure: Transportation, Dining, Lodging and Misc./Entertainment.
Without further dew, here is the first recap: <o:p></o:p></div>
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<b><u>Transportation</u></b><o:p></o:p></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]-->•<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';">
</span><!--[endif]-->DO NOT, under any circumstance, rent a car and try
to drive in Manhattan! No matter how stellar you think you are behind the
wheel, driving should be left up to the professionals and that does not include
you!<o:p></o:p></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]-->•<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';">
</span><!--[endif]-->Horn honking is part of the culture there so get
used to it and consider a friendly "toot toot" a sign of affection or
that you're about to get run over!<o:p></o:p></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]-->•<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';">
</span><!--[endif]-->Don't try to hail a cab between 4-6pm as this is
shift change and unless you're going to Brooklyn, (where their corporate office
is domiciled) you will not get picked up.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-pagination: none; tab-stops: 11.0pt .5in; text-autospace: none; text-indent: -.5in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]-->•<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';">
</span><!--[endif]-->When you do successfully get into a yellow taxi,
ask your driver where he/she is from. Inevitably, you will meet someone
from a different country every time. This will give you true
understanding of why NYC and America is the melting pot of the world.
Listen to their stories and let THEM tell you why our country is so
great! It will leave you inspired!<o:p></o:p></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]-->•<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';">
</span><!--[endif]-->Ride the subway; it gives you culture, perspective
and it's cheap. Maps are located in every Subway entry way and in every
hotel in the city.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]-->•<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';">
</span><!--[endif]-->The fancy black cars (usually Suburbans or Lincoln
Town Cars) are luxurious and legit but do not take debit/credit cards so have
cash in hand if you plan to travel this way through the city.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-pagination: none; tab-stops: 11.0pt .5in; text-autospace: none; text-indent: -.5in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]-->•<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';">
</span><!--[endif]-->Pedi-Cabs are as prevalent as flies on a fresh
patty of cow poop in the middle of my Daddy's pasture! They stink, swarm
around you everywhere and we sure as hell would not step into one knowing
better than to do so!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-pagination: none; tab-stops: 11.0pt .5in; text-autospace: none; text-indent: -.5in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]-->•<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';">
</span><!--[endif]-->And lastly, if you have the time, just hoof it on
foot! This truly is the best way to see the city, meet new people and get
a little exercise too but be warned, what looks like a "few blocks"
on the map is much farther than you think it is. Five blocks to a Texan
is actually more like 1.5 miles! <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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Saying Adios and Buenos Noches from Austin, y'all!<o:p></o:p></div>
<!--EndFragment--><br />
<br />Leslie Alexander Paffehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03923742445321250754noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3218472158137600809.post-80533510279832650512012-12-18T14:10:00.000-08:002012-12-18T14:10:05.958-08:00Danke, Gracias, Merci, Thank You
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Did you know over 465 languages offer a form of
"Thank You" for its native speakers to use when showing gratitude for
kindness, generosity, etc.? While living in New York the past two months
those two words have come out of our mouths more times than in the last five
years combined. I, for one, am very thankful for the opportunity to show
my gratitude to the many wonderful New Yorkers we've come in contact with since
October 22nd and have forever positively impacted our lives.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Since our time in the city is quickly coming to an
end, I feel it befitting to say "Thank You" to those that mean and
have done so much for us over the last eight weeks. Honestly and perhaps
amazingly, this in and of itself brings a mixed bag of emotions. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Last Friday, unbeknownst to us, was our last visit
with Carnegie Imaging for Women. Over the last two months, Friday
afternoons routinely began with a pilgrimage to 148 Madison Avenue where we
would joyfully have a new sonographer measure the length of my cervix,
carefully monitor the baby's heartbeat, artfully determine the length and size
of each major organ and skillfully evaluate the amount of amniotic fluid in my
uterus. After the assessment was completed, we would get to see our
favorite Mississippi born/New York residing physician, Dr. Chad Klauser, where
he would answer a myriad of questions we threw at him. I was prepared to say goodbye to the phenomenal
team at Carnegie Imaging for Women this Friday, 12/21, so you can imagine my
surprise and sudden onset of water works when I learned while sitting in Dr.
Klauser's office this visit would be our last. After he gave us the final
"green light" to head back to Austin, I started to cry...and cry....
and cry. Saying goodbye proved to be much harder than saying hello.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Today was our last visit with Dr. Szilvia Nagy, our
general OBGYN. She, being the consummate professional, handed-over all
medical records for us to pass along to Dr. Grogono in Austin and hugged me at
least five times while we both expressed our mutual love and admiration for
each other. I cried before I got into the exam room so my emotions were a
little more controlled at this visit. I only wish Dr. Nagy was a tad bit
closer as I will forever love and respect her as a person and physician.
Unfortunately, most practices don't allow, based on revenue demands and
the business models put into place, the kind of care Dr. Nagy showed us.
Having a doctor hand over a personal cell number and spend 20 to 30
minutes with us at each visit is unheard of these days and I'm thankful Dr.
Nagy took care of us while we were in New York.
God knows exactly who and what we need and at the exact times we need
them. Dr. Nagy is proof of this!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjveMdmVjkjTxodn7tRNkJ8u3EujSVK-kG1xMM7e0g5jGaCmwsGSJnXgKN9pgyrob7Qkp2tfxMSXvDhv2kiZYTz_sSs2_ofmmAj1u2CaGb31xgvlM45RJCOlGcXfMgt9vvkkJI0kPorqEcW/s1600/IMG_1125.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjveMdmVjkjTxodn7tRNkJ8u3EujSVK-kG1xMM7e0g5jGaCmwsGSJnXgKN9pgyrob7Qkp2tfxMSXvDhv2kiZYTz_sSs2_ofmmAj1u2CaGb31xgvlM45RJCOlGcXfMgt9vvkkJI0kPorqEcW/s320/IMG_1125.jpg" width="239" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So, we've been released to head back to Texas,
which we plan to do next week, and resume our lives with a healthy baby coming
our way sometime in the near future. The purpose of today's blog is to
send our sincerest "Danke" for all those that have made our stay
painless and memorable in New York...Here goes:<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
"<b>Merci</b>" to the medical
professionals and physicians at Carnegie Imaging Center for Women. Your
knowledge, experience and expertise saved our child's life. How do we
ever properly thank you for that?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
"<b>Nagyon köszönöm</b>" to Dr. Nagy and
her staff at NY Downtown Hospital. You made us feel like we had a medical
home when we were utterly homeless and we forever love you.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
"<b>Gracias</b>" for the love and care
given by the Labor & Delivery nurses, medical students and staff at NY
Downtown Hospital while we were hospitalized for five days. Their quick
action and diagnosis saved Baby P and thus, we are forever indebted. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
"<b>Dhannvaad" </b>to Hector, Marlon
& Dawud in our building for being the friendly faces and kind words we saw
and heard each day that consistently brightened our spirits.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
"<b>Efharisto poli" </b>to Billy, Jimmy
and the crew at the Market Diner for taking our minds off my failing cervix and
allowing us to feel normal while watching the Aggies and Vols play each
Saturday afternoon at their counter bar. These are some of the best
memories we have of New York.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
"<b>Shukran" </b>to my Brooklyn-based
friend, Suha, for meeting me for lunch twice over the past two weeks.
Though we haven't seen each other in ten years, real friendships are the kinds
that pick up where you last left off.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And lastly, "THANK YOU" to our friends,
family and work colleagues across the country for your gifts, cards, emails,
texts, phone calls and mostly prayers in arguably the hardest two months of our
lives. We will NEVER forget any of you!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In closing, I like most of you have been adversely affected by last
week's horrific murders in Newtown, CT. I found myself asking a few
different friends and myself one question, "My gosh, what is this world
coming to?" We may never know the motives behind Adam Lanza's acts
of evil but there is one thing I want everyone that reads this blog to
know...Keep believing in Good! We have been the recipients of more
kindness, generosity and love over our time here than we could have ever
imagined. Yes, there will be other atrocities before the end of time,
I'm sure of it, but don't quit believing in the good 99% of the rest of the
world has to offer those in need. I choose to focus my attention on these
acts and I hope you do too.<o:p></o:p></div>
<!--EndFragment--><br />
<br />
Leslie Alexander Paffehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03923742445321250754noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3218472158137600809.post-60645671318495879462012-12-15T08:56:00.002-08:002012-12-15T08:56:33.800-08:00Dear Jimmy<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br />
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Dear
Jimmy-<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Well,
it’s December 15<sup>th,</sup> which means today I haven’t kissed your cheek or
hugged your neck in three years! This is the one-day of the year I wish
we could just skip over but I know you’re smiling down on us from heaven
finally healed after years of battling cancer. There are so many things I
want to tell you but if you get nothing else from this letter, please know we
miss you desperately and though you’re gone you’re not forgotten.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Everyone
knew Drew and I meant the world to you (along with Mom of course) and in case
we never told you, you meant the world to us. Many of the goals and
aspirations you had for your children have been achieved while we still strive for
greatness on a daily basis! One of the biggest goals you had for Drew was
obtaining a college education…I'm happy to report, HE DID IT!! Your
amazing son graduated from college a year ago and is a sensational young
man. He possesses so many of your traits; he’s kind, loving, supportive
and gentle. I’m so thankful he’s my brother and have enjoyed watching him
learn and grow into the man he is today. Yes, like all of us, he’s
struggled over the past few years but I know 2013 is going to be his year to
shine! Send him a shooting star every once-in-a-while to let him know
you’re up there proud and cheering him on to victory!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
As
for me, gosh you’ve missed so much! Remember that wonderful man I
introduced you to in the summer of 2009 (when it was 114 degrees in Austin and
you willed yourself to climb all the steps up Mt. Bonnell with horrible
neuropathy…your strength and desire amazed me)? Well, all of your prayers
came true for me to find a true, honest man. I did it right this time, I
married the man God made for me and have never been happier in my life.
He’s a real man too…he’s loving, supportive, kind, generous, strong and puts
family first. I never thought I’d end-up with someone so amazing and I
thank God for him daily. I’m so sad you didn’t get the chance to spend more
time with him or meet his family. They are the in-laws I always wanted in
my life and love them like I love our own family. Being a “Paffe” has
been one of God’s best blessings and I just hope I do the last name proud
through the rest of my life. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Guess
what else Jimmy? You’re going to be a first-time grandfather! Can
you believe it? Man, if you only knew the journey we’ve been on to get
this baby here and healthy…it’s been crazy! We’ve lived in New York since
October trying to remain pregnant until 32 weeks and we're almost there! Yesterday was our final appointment with the Maternal Fetal
Medicine specialist and my condition is stable enough that we have been
released to go back to Texas! God is so good. It crushes
me that you won’t be here to welcome this beautiful child into the world but rest-assured Mom is excited enough for both of you! And, it goes without
saying, you will be ever-present in our child's life through pictures, stories
and our memories. Though he/she may not know you in-person, they will know
your spirit.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’m
sure you’re wondering about Mom…we’ve all been on a journey since you left us
but I feel like we’re finding our way together again. There's no way we
could have known what a tremendous void would be left in our lives once you
died. That’s the same for Mom. Don’t worry though, she’s as
beautiful as ever and found a really nice, caring man to keep her company and
spend time with. I believe in my heart you'd really life him if you had
the chance to meet him. Don’t get me wrong, she would be the first to
tell you that this is not the life she had planned for herself but would also
tell you that in death comes new life and we can’t dwell on the past. She
may not say it often, but she misses you as much as we do.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I
want you to know that though we have hard days, we're doing all right. We
get strength from your memory in times of need and smile when thinking back on
our years with you. We're appreciative of the example you gave of
unconditional love and plan to pass those lessons on to our children. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I
know we’ll meet again, and I can’t wait for that day, but until then I’ll look
forward to celebrating your life each day of the one I’m still living.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Leslie<o:p></o:p></div>
<!--EndFragment--></div>
<!--EndFragment-->Leslie Alexander Paffehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03923742445321250754noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3218472158137600809.post-9290824407686046022012-12-06T17:55:00.002-08:002012-12-06T17:56:47.516-08:00Live...Like You Are Living<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Driving in the middle lane on the eastbound frontage road of Loop 1604 about to turn northbound onto Blanco Road in San
Antonio, TX, a song came on the radio that stopped me dead in my tracks. Uncontrollable tears flowed from my eyes as my hands began to shake on the steering wheel while I listened intently to every lyric of the masterpiece. It was one of those songs where you
remember exactly where you were and what you were doing when you heard it for the first time...for the hundredth time.
The year was 2004 and Tim Nichols and Craig Wisemen had just penned a
song that would change the face of country music, altar the way American's lived their lives (if only for a brief moment), not to mention, make them a ton of money.
Tim McGraw sang and made if famous..."Live Like You Were
Dying" is it's title. The song talks about a middle-aged man who just received a
cancer diagnosis and begins living his life like every day was his last. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I've never lived my life like I was dying though I
found the lyrics of the song inspiring. I'm too worried about what's
going to happen tomorrow or next week or five years from now to enjoy the
simple pleasures of this day. Yes, I've done some things that
others might not consider doing at the ripe 'ole age of 30 like quitting a corporate sales job with a
steady salary, health benefits and a company car to be a waitress at a
restaurant in Nashville in order to chase my dream of becoming a famous country
singer. Do you know what I did the entire time I was in Nashville?
Worry... Worry about what everyone thought of me, listened to "experts"
tell me I was too old to start my journey and fret about how I was going to
pay my next bill. I can honestly say there was not one minute while I was
there that I took a deep breath, let it out and simply enjoyed the exact moment
I was in. I was too worried about being judged or wondering how I was
going to get to the "next level". It makes me sick to my
stomach now as I feel like I wasted two years on worrying...not really living!
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">As our journey in New York is coming to an end, I
found myself thinking about our time here and what it has meant to me.... to us.... to our future family. I'm proud to say, I've stopped and smelled the
roses, the bacon cooking in our mini-kitchen, my husband after a work out, the
diesel fuel of a city bus, the urine in the subway, the collective flavors and
spices cooking up in a Manhattan eatery while enjoying the smallest place I've
ever lived. The smells, while not always pleasant, were still smelled. For the past six weeks I've lived, like I'm living, and it
has changed my life. I may not sky dive or ride 2.7 seconds on a bull
named Fu-Man-Chu but I've stopped every day, thanked God for giving me the gift
of another day with my child still growing inside of me and another moment I'll never get
back with the man I love most on this planet, Gayland Paffe. I've enjoyed
the simplicity of a good cry over the third book I just finished called
"Roses", the kindness of the ladies sitting next to us at dinner on
Friday night at a little Italian Eatery that are just about to marry and start
their own family, our doctor
giving us her cell phone number and texting me back immediately when I reach
out to her with a question, the fact I can finally let my eyebrows grow out
since I don't have to see any customers right now...the list of "Live... like
I am really living" goes on and on.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">We live in a hustle and bustle society, I get
it...when I'm not on mandatory medical leave I'm crazy with my life too.
But I dare ask you, when is the last time you stopped to enjoy the smile
on your child's face? Can you remember the last time you showed extra
kindness to the checker at the grocery store? Why not stop your
husband/partner when they get home from work, grab their face and really give
them a kiss? Have you given thanks for
the greatness God brought to this moment, today, this week - big or small?
Have you told your spouse, children, parents, and friends that you loved
them lately? It’s the little things that count the most! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">So, while you're one day closer to dying (as we all are) why not stop
and live? It may just change your life!</span><o:p></o:p></div>
<!--EndFragment-->Leslie Alexander Paffehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03923742445321250754noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3218472158137600809.post-52511003772961805532012-12-03T17:28:00.002-08:002012-12-03T19:42:02.933-08:00What 30 means at 36<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">30 seems like yesterday...and 30 years ago.
My actual birth day was unmemorable but the celebration went on for weeks
and perhaps has continued for the past six years. 30 is when I came into
my own as a person, woman, and professional. To say there was some sort
of hocus-pocus which occurred suddenly allowing me not care what others thought
or said would be censure but what did occur is I finally felt the respect of
society, as if the due-diligence I put in working and proving myself the years
since college graduation some how allowed others to finally take me seriously. It was a remarkable transformation to
watch. During that time I gained
courage, independence and took control over my destiny. It was a lifetime
ago and it was yesterday! Yet today, a few weeks from turning 36, I look
in the mirror and the person staring back is someone completely unfamiliar.
Gone is the strong, independent woman who was taking on the world one day
at a time and what remains is someone broken and scared of what the future
holds...irony at it's best!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">This week, 30 has a whole new meaning in our lives.
It's not the amount of years I've been alive and thankfully not the
amount of cupcakes I've devoured in New York City (only 3 so far, thank you
very much). This week we celebrate being pregnant for 30 weeks. I
can hardly believe it! 23 weeks and 5 days with only doom and gloom ahead
of us seems like yesterday...and 30 years ago. And yet, we are only 3
weeks away from kissing our beloved New York goodbye and re-acclimating to
Texas. My heart and soul are filled with extreme sadness when thinking
about what we'll leave behind. Though our time has been difficult here,
it has also been rewarding, enlightening, inspiring, loving and overwhelming.
It has dropped me to my knees in prayer, taken the life out of me
(almost literally) caused me to become dependent on a man for
the first time, made me value the life growing inside of me that I once took
for granted and helped me realize there is so much more good in this big 'ole
world than bad.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I found myself buried nose deep in Gayland's left
shoulder this morning boo-hooing my eyes out over a miscommunication that
occurred yesterday. I told him, "I just want to go home" to
which he responded, "I know. But once we get there we're going to
think it's so boring." It made us laugh because New York has
brought, ironically enough, so much joy to our lives in the midst of a
traumatic situation. When returning to Texas, I have a feeling our lives
will never be the same again, just like it changed for me six years ago on my
30th birthday. I'm conflicted with desire...on one hand, I want to have a
big party at Guero's (my favorite Austin Mexican Food joint) to celebrate the
friendships and family we perhaps took for granted before leaving Texas yet on
the other hand, I don't want to be around anyone for weeks so I can work
through what we've just emotionally endured. It's quite strange actually. When
I said I don't recognize the girl in the mirror, this is a prime example of
what I'm talking about. I've become somewhat reclusive, fearing what the
outside world holds for us. Not literally, per se, but fearful that too
many steps in our weekly outing will cause me to go into labor again, fearful
someone will hit my belly and hurt the baby, fearful we won't be able to catch
a cab in time to get to the hospital if my water breaks, fear, fear, fear.
I know, fear is the opposite of faith, right? This brings me back
to 30.... the 30th year of my life when I had no fear because I was free from
the things that burdened me for the six years prior and this week, the 30th
week of a pregnancy I thought was not to be. In-and-of-itself, these are
two reasons to celebrate the number 30! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">To end, a wise and beautiful friend of mine, Linda
Koehl, once said, "Your 30's will be the best years of your life so enjoy
every minute of them." Perhaps this week instead of fearing the
"what-if's" I'll try to enjoy being 30 again...<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="color: #131313;">“Don't cry because it's over, smile because it
happened.” </span><span style="color: #131313;">―</span><span style="color: #131313;"> <a href="http://www.goodreads.com/author/show/61105.Dr_Seuss"><span style="color: #55510d; text-decoration: none;">Dr. Seuss</span></a></span></span><span style="font-size: 16pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<!--EndFragment--><br />
<!--EndFragment-->Leslie Alexander Paffehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03923742445321250754noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3218472158137600809.post-73727910259458339882012-11-27T14:57:00.001-08:002012-11-27T14:57:50.157-08:00Gayland-isms...#1
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For
those that know my delicious better half (..And I mean <b><i><u>scrumptiously delicious</u></i></b>…with
those hazel eyes and salt and pepper hair that is long enough now to brush out
of his eyes, I just want to eat him up which is a problem since that is how we got ourselves into this mess in the first place...geez! Can't the man just be unattractive for half a second??), it will come as no surprise when I say
he is pretty darn funny! If you've met him casually, this statement might
be a bit puzzling because he's actually quiet in nature when in the midst of
new faces (and besides, do ya think he can get a word in edge wise with my big yap
running all the time?). For those unfamiliar with Mr. Wonderful, let me
be the first to enlighten you; this man is a hoot! He's not overtly
funny, like a Jim Carey (you know what I'm talking about...the obnoxious kind
of funny…The kind of funny where you find yourself wondering if the person is capable
of carrying on a serious conversation with another human-being without bulging
their eyes out, making farting noises with their mouth, contorting their noses in
funny directions or acting a fool all the time just for the sake of getting
attention…not that kind of funny). Gayland is funny because his humor
presents itself in the most unlikely time and circumstance. This is a trait I’ve learned to love about
him as our years together have increased and we’re totally relaxed in each other’s
company (…And isn’t that a good thing? Can
you imagine how horrific it would be cooped up in our 800 square foot,
one-bedroom New York City chalet if we didn’t like to be around each other?)<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So,
what is humor if not shared with others? Since the secret about Gayland's comedic side is now out, I am going to keep track of my favorite "Gaylandisms" and post
them weekly as part of our blog. Not only will this hopefully brighten
your mood and spirit, one day Baby P can read about his/her Dad and laugh along with the
rest of us. My hope is I'm able to accurately express the moment of
drollery by just using my words (and perhaps a video or two if I can figure out
how to imbed it into my post).<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Without
further a due, here is my first Gayland-ism...<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>The
setting:</b>
Our living room/office/kitchen space with my big 'ole behind plumped down on the center cushion of the couch (my favorite spot in our apartment). The high-top, multi-purpose table (which is used as Gayland's
new desk, my vanity table and the place we eat dinner each night) stands at exactly 2 o'clock from
where the couch sits and for the sake of this story, where Gayland is standing. I have my feet propped up on the glass coffee table
sporting my new furry purple slippers when the baby decides Momma needs a
little "nudging". NOW, keep in mind, Baby P's version of
nudging and your version of nudging are probably not comparable. When
this child begins nudging - <i>ah-hum</i> -kicking, it usually makes me jump or at least twist a bit
away from the blow. Once it stops, I grab my right side in an effort to
thwart off another attack by my child. Gayland, being the constant watch-dog
he's become after all of our New York City excitement quickly asks with
true concern written all over his face, “Are you okay?” To which I promptly
respond after a long, dramatic sigh with my eyes rolled up in my head, “Would you
like to come over here and feel your child kicking me.” Without
hesitation he responds, “Why do I ALWAYS have to be the disciplinarian in this
family? Why do you make MEEEEE be the bad guy?” We both
started laughing uncontrollably!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>The moral of this story:</b> I am thankful my husband is already offering
to be the “bad guy” in the parenting role!
That’s one less thing I have to worry about though I imagine once he sets eyes on his child for the first time he's going to become complete mush!<o:p></o:p></div>
<!--EndFragment--><br />
Leslie Alexander Paffehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03923742445321250754noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3218472158137600809.post-75353788193341736312012-11-23T17:07:00.000-08:002012-11-24T09:27:59.789-08:00If Weeble's wobble...<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<!--StartFragment-->
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
If
Weeble's wobble to keep from tipping over, what the hell do pregnant women do
when our stomachs stick out disproportionately to the rest of our bodies?
We waddle! <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The
waddle is a tricky thing...it comes on slowly over a few weeks and can
sometimes be explained away simply as a symptom of not being able to exercise regularly
so joints naturally stiffen. The afflicted person (ah-hum, pregnant
woman) may stand up...very slowly...put one foot in front of the other but have
a bit of a hitch in her getty-up! Being in a complete state of denial,
the pregnant woman simply waives off the stiffness as just being
"pregnant". Another day may go by where she is able to walk
around as normal and then...it hits again…usually after a large meal.
Well, last night there was no more denying it...Ladies and Gents, I am
officially a waddler! I can't abnegate or hide it and I certainly cannot
convince anyone there is anything else going on other than I waddle when I walk!
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I'm
one of those women you can see coming from a mile away. You know the
kind...If you're heading south on 10th street and you see a woman in a black
velour track suit (there are two versions...one with pink ribbon accents on the
hood, zipper and pants and one without) heading north swaying left and right doing
what could be mistaken as the goose step, have no doubt, even in the middle of
Midtown Manhattan, that would be me! All you need to see is my
booty-licious butt, hippo-normous hips, and blondish-colored ponytail swaying
too and fro to know Big Momma is heading your way! Don't worry about
looking for my face...you won't need to see it you’ll just know its me!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Not
that long ago, I was just like you…Yes, YOU! You, the woman that exercises non-stop, eats
rabbit food, counts every calorie, has never been pregnant and thinks when you
do get pregnant, the waddle will never happen to you! You, the woman that finds out you are pregnant
but still lives in denial, calling all of your pregnant friends that are months
ahead wanting to know if they waddle when they walk and after finding out they
do, still convince yourself you won’t! Watch
out sister because the waddle is coming for you and it hits just about the time
you think you have this whole pregnancy thing figured out! It happens the week between when you
celebrated the fact you could still wear your Hanky Panky pre-pregnancy thongs
without the lace rolling up on the sides of your hips and your Big Girl Bosom brassière
becomes a size too damn small! <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So,
knowing you can’t avoid it, might as well embrace it, right?? After all, Gisele Bundchen will never have a
thing on you! She couldn’t have a butt
as round, hips as wide or boobs as big yours even if she wanted to (ok, there’s
always plastic surgery)! Here’s to all
you pregnant ladies out there waddling through Target, Wal-Mart, Nordstrom and
Macy’s shopping for holiday gifts for your family while being absolutely
positively miserable…You go with your big self (pun intended)!! And for all those husbands/partners loving
their Big, Beautiful, Buximous, Waddling, Pregnant gals…kudos to you! Believe me when I say, this pregnancy thing is
a whole helluva lot harder than you think it is! <o:p></o:p></div>
<!--EndFragment--><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Leslie Alexander Paffehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03923742445321250754noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3218472158137600809.post-38467806447732264732012-11-20T18:31:00.000-08:002012-11-20T18:31:22.876-08:00Texas Bound? God willing...
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<span style="font-family: Georgia; mso-bidi-font-family: Georgia;">If we have our way, we will make our return trip to Austin on
Christmas Day! This will be the biggest Christmas gift of our lives for
two reasons: </span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia; mso-bidi-font-family: Georgia;">1. Baby P will still be cookin’ </span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia; mso-bidi-font-family: Georgia;">2. We will finally be home!</span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia; mso-bidi-font-family: Georgia;">We received conflicting recommendations from physicians last week,
which sent me into a tailspin. Our New York OB/GYN recommended we stay in
New York due to the shortness of my cervix until after the baby arrives.
Picking ourselves up by our bootstraps after hearing that news, we
prepared mentally and emotionally to ride out the pregnancy in the Big Apple.
The next day, our Austin-based OB/GYN called and said if I stay pregnant
until 32 weeks we should come back home. WHAT? Who on earth do you
listen to? Who do you believe? We have no medical background and
depend heavily on the advice and recommendation of our physicians to make wise
decisions about our child and our own lives. It was incredibly
frustrating so looking for advice from a third party; we decided to hold off on
making decisions until we saw the specialist later in the week.</span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia; mso-bidi-font-family: Georgia;">On Friday, we went to the Maternal Fetal Medicine specialist for our
weekly sonogram and cervical update. We learned my cervix had improved
over the week prior from 3 mm to 6 mm (I sure as hell hope so! I'm doing
virtually nothing all day every day except perhaps going a little bit more
crazy...this is sweet victory for what feels like the training session of my
life). When the doctor came in to speak with us, she asked what our plan
was moving forward since my condition has stabilized? We told her our
Austin based physician was comfortable with us going home at 32 weeks and she
agreed that was a good plan of action. So, with fingers and toes crossed,
we impatiently waited for the results of my fFN test. </span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia; mso-bidi-font-family: Georgia;">Fibronectin proteins are produced by <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fetus"><span style="color: windowtext; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;">fetal</span></a> <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cell_(biology)"><span style="color: windowtext; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;">cells</span></a> and for women
that are at high risk for pre-term labor (like me), the fFN test can
indicate if those cells are present. A "positive" result
indicates the possibility of going into labor "soon" but is also inconclusive, as women with a positive result can stay pregnant
for many weeks to come, go figure! Conversely, a "negative"
test is a conclusive result that a woman has a 95% chance of NOT going into
labor in the next two weeks. We were thrilled to learn today I had
another NEGATIVE test, the second negative result in the past two weeks. Such a
huge relief off our minds.</span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia; mso-bidi-font-family: Georgia;">We have our weekly appointment with the specialist tomorrow for
another sonogram and assuming the results remain consistent, we will book our
flights back to Texas for a Christmas day return! As we've done for the
past month, we remain cautiously optimistic.</span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia; mso-bidi-font-family: Georgia;">To end today's post, Thanksgiving is weighing heavily on our minds.
We are constantly reflecting on all of the blessings that have been
bestowed upon us this year, starting with reaching our 28-week milestone tomorrow!
Sitting in that hospital bed at 23 weeks and 5 days pregnant one month
ago I honestly thought we might not have a baby to celebrate with this year and
every year for the rest of our lives. I will never underestimate the
amazing grace of God and the power of prayer. For those who have added us
to your prayer chain, prayer list at church and continue to pray for us in the
privacy of your homes, THANK YOU! We have a new perspective on the things
that matter in this life. At the end of the day, if you don’t have
amazing family and unwavering friendships you're not really living!! </span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia; mso-bidi-font-family: Georgia;">We
wish abundant blessings to you and your family this Thanksgiving.</span><o:p></o:p></div>
<!--EndFragment--><br />
<!--EndFragment-->Leslie Alexander Paffehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03923742445321250754noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3218472158137600809.post-49791732346634613582012-11-19T18:44:00.000-08:002012-11-19T19:31:24.221-08:00Thanksgiving Thankfulness!<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Thanksgiving
is my all-time favorite holiday! Families gather together to celebrate one-another
and blessings of the year, the food is delicious and plentiful, spirits
are high, it's the kick-off to the Holy season and all of this is done without
exchanging one gift.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Knowing
our Thanksgiving will be very different in 2012, I'm focusing on what I'm most thankful for this year. It goes without saying I'm thankful that we are two days away from being 28 weeks pregnant,
have the love and support of amazing friends and family, a great job, etc. but
what I want to really give thanks for this year is my husband. In all of
the blogging and conversations that have taken place over the past month, I
feel as though he sometimes gets left out. He is the hero in my life and the one we all should praise for a job well done
during our very trying, extended vacation in Manhattan! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">In
true New York style, I’ve devised the “Top 10 reasons I'm most thankful for
Gayland Paffe this Thanksgiving”...<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">10.
He loves Tennessee football as much as I love A&M football! You can bet when our teams meet in the SEC Championship one day I'll have on my maroon t-shirt and Volunteer flip-flips and he'll be wearing his Big Orange t-shirt and Texas Aggie baseball hat! We'll both take turns holding Baby P who obviously comes from a house that is divided!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">9.
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in Punta Cana, Dominican Republic, he looked like something out of a movie.
I was petrified when I got to the beach to meet him he was going to be
gone and I can't say I would have blamed him. (<i>Perhaps</i> I provided
a little encouragement...well....um... persuasion... or
threats...ok, ultimatums about the marriage part so I was fearful he was going
to bolt right into the Caribbean Ocean because he wasn’t quite ready to take
the ultimate plunge.) I'm not the easiest person to love or live with but
he made a decision to see us through. That day and moment were, and he
still remains, the biggest blessing of my life.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">8. <o:p></o:p>Cucumbers don't have a thing on my Baby Daddy! That man is calm as can be and never lets anyone see him sweat.
It provides a calming effect on me since I sweat more than anyone I know!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">7. He loves to cook which is beneficial to both of us since we'd starve or weigh 500 pounds each if it were left up to me to feed us. Yes, I can bake a mean cookie, cake, pie or yeast bread but please do not ask me to cook anything other than breakfast, spaghetti or tacos!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">6.
When I married him I also received his family, all of whom I love dearly!
His Mom, Dad, sister, brother and sister-in-law in FL are diverse and
dynamic and they make me smile! I can't wait for Baby P to meet his/her
grandparents, aunts and uncle.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">5.
In almost four years, he's never missed a songwriter's round, acoustic or
full-band show. He has listened to every song I've written and provided
honest feedback, set up my sound equipment, sold my merchandise, supported and
encouraged my crazy, expensive dream.
He’s been at every 5k, half-marathon and triathlon cheering me on when I
wasn’t sure if my legs or mind would carry me to the finish line. And then, he agreed to train for the
Nashville marathon with me knowing well I’m a much slower runner than
him. True love is when an 8:30 miler agrees to train with an 11:00 miler...just saying!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">4. <o:p></o:p>I
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always thought that was outright crap….and then I married Gayland Paffe.
I do have a best girlfriend that has been with me through the thick and thin
of life in the past 12 years and I love her dearly but my bestfriendship with Gayland is
different. He is the Southwest Airlines to my 737, the salted butter to
my white French bread, the vanilla buttercream icing to my chocolate cupcake, the Tide with Febreeze to my
washing machine and the cashmere socks to my new black suede TOMS booties. He is my
heart and soul and I love this man more than I ever thought it possible to love
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<!--StartFragment--><!--EndFragment--><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">
</span><br />
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">3.
During the trials and tribulations of our New York hospital stay October
22nd - October 26th, he never left my side (except to shower and get us food).
He slept on a hard, faux-leather couch every night under a shaggy blanket
and flat pillow. He was my constant in the midst of extreme chaos and he never threatened to kick the ass of all those male doctor's that were providing what felt like non-step cervical exams...Love this man!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">2.
As I'm constantly unsure how we're going to pay our bills if we have to
stay in New York, have a baby and raise it to be an upstanding and productive
citizen, involve both of our families in the child's life when we live in
different states all while maintaining demanding jobs that require a ton of
travel, he constantly lies to me and tells me he's not worried about the same
things. This is the one time in our marriage I'm glad he doesn’t tell me
the truth!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">*And,
the #1 reason I'm most thankful for Gayland Paffe this holiday season:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">He
chose me to be the mother of his child. There is no greater honor or gift...<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">In the spirit of thankfulness, what blessings will you be celebrating on Thursday with your family?</span>
<!--EndFragment--><br />
<div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br /></div>
Leslie Alexander Paffehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03923742445321250754noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3218472158137600809.post-42827762792047531302012-11-14T19:41:00.000-08:002012-11-15T09:52:04.038-08:0027 weeks with New Yorkers...really, they're just Texans with funny accents!<!--EndFragment-->
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<span style="font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Three weeks down and counting! Today we are happily 27 weeks pregnant, THANK
GOD (literally)! We received news
yesterday from our NYC based OB/GYN that wasn’t too shocking, just incredibly
hard to hear. She recommended we not
travel back to Texas assuming my body stays in the same condition it is in
currently, even at 32 weeks and beyond.
(Yea, that means having the baby in New York City and likely staying her
until February). Our Austin based OB/GYN
called to check in today and said the exact opposite, if my condition remains
the same and we stay pregnant until 32 weeks, COME BACK TO TEXAS! As you can imagine, this has our heads
spinning! Who on earth do you listen
to? We definitely are not medical
professionals and do not want to take extra risk! So frustrating! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Before speaking with Dr. Grogono, our Austin
physician today, I sent out an email last night letting friends and family know
the million-dollar question had been answered, “Yes, we’re having the baby in
New York”. My sweet girlfriend Sara
emailed me this morning and asked a thought provoking question, “</span><span style="font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">How is it even possible that Leslie
Alexander’s southern ass is going to have a Yankee baby?” After I picked my “southern ass” up off the
floor from laughing so hard,</span><span style="font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"> I spent the day pondering the
miracles happening to us and feeling gratitude for our new city and Yankee
friends!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">New York has an ill-fitting stereotype that
I’d like to blow off the planet. The
perception amongst some Americans is that New Yorkers are rude, crude, perhaps
injurious and unfriendly to outsiders!
Quite the contrary my friends!
We’ve decided New Yorker’s are really just Texans with funny accents.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Living outside of Texas for many years I
often wondered what made Texas so enticing to outsiders? After all, there are no seasons (unless you
count hot, hotter and hot as hell).
Houston and Dallas are too crowded and require crazy commute times to and from work and
Austin is damn expensive. As we’ve spent
the last two years trying to get the hell outta dodge, there are thousands
flocking to the Lone Star State on a daily basis.
Why? Sometimes perspective gives
all the answers we really need.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Texas is great because of the people living in
it! Yes, there are many that are not “natives”
but, in my opinion, that doesn’t make them any less Texan than me. My ancestry
goes back hundreds of years to the southern part of the state but what I love
about Texas is the kindness we extend to the newcomers. It’s safe to say people in Texas go out of
their way to help a neighbor in need (Thank You Curt & Kristin along with
all of our other Texas friends for helping <b><i>these</i></b> people in need over the past
three weeks…not Natives, but Texans to the core). There is a greater than good chance the
neighbor that just moved in next door is from another state or country. That’s ok; we’ll love ya anyway, treat you
like family and bring a basket of baked good to your door to welcome you to the
neighborhood! The food (damn I’d kill
for Kiko’s Mexican rice, beans and cheese enchiladas right now), the music, the
culture, the art, the history…this is what makes Texas so great! And we’ve done a phenomenal job of indoctrinating
those that move in to our great state into our way of thinking, living and
treating others. Yes, most of us own a
pair of cowboy boots and perhaps a hat but that doesn’t mean we’re a cowboy, it
just means we buy into the history of Tejas! We’re actually fairly civilized, with many
industries making impacts on the world.
This too is Texas! And there are
a few of us that do have accents and that’s ok too!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Head north of the Mason Dixon line and find a
fabulous city called New York! The
people here are no different. They help
a neighbor in need (just like the Paffes and everyone affected by Super Storm
Sandy), they love us through difficult times AND talk about art and history
(hello Statue of Liberty, the Met, Empire State Building and many more
landmarks) they have more art, history, music, and amazing food in a three mile radius than we have in the whole state of Texas. They all talk funny because not many are
actually from here! This is truly a
melting pot! And let me give a big
shout-out to a few special people that have changed our lives:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">1.<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;">
</span></span><!--[endif]--><b><span style="font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Pasteur Pharmacy</span></b><span style="font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">– This
family-owned pharmacy has filled my prescription every five days and only
charged Gayland once telling him to, “Not worry about it. We’ll work it out later.” Directly after the
storm I ran out of the medication that stops my contractions. Calling the usual Pasteur location, we
quickly learned they were not opened due to the Manhattan power outage. G called the other location, talked to a fine
young woman, told her our story and she immediately told him to come on over
that she would get the medication filled for him. It was arguably the most chaotic day of the
decade for them yet they filled my prescription and again, did not charge
him. I still can’t believe it!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFuPGqaYdP-Bggmso2x3t6CJeGm2fDNJNFRmjhrMRVAOzetVpyNZcOWbh9phDfuJXBLV20XW8ueXatIwPDJfbe5a1pVOZwBFTb8ZXgRdXnu_9PnU4Oi0YFjN3TrlEYOJBUKzWWHXNrUMfR/s1600/Pasteur+Pharmacy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFuPGqaYdP-Bggmso2x3t6CJeGm2fDNJNFRmjhrMRVAOzetVpyNZcOWbh9phDfuJXBLV20XW8ueXatIwPDJfbe5a1pVOZwBFTb8ZXgRdXnu_9PnU4Oi0YFjN3TrlEYOJBUKzWWHXNrUMfR/s320/Pasteur+Pharmacy.jpg" width="191" /></a></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">2.<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;">
</span></span><!--[endif]--><b><span style="font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">The Distrikt Hotel</span></b><span style="font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"> – This
midtown Manhattan gem extended our highly discounted rate three nights beyond
our check out date due to my hospitalization.
They moved our bags to a new room when ours was reserved for other
travelers while Gayland was caring for me.
When the hotel was completely booked, the GM pulled Gayland aside and
told him to call the next day as they would have a room for us for a month
at a “special rate” since our situation was so dire! They have customers for
life with our family!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">3.<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;">
</span></span><!--[endif]--><b><span style="font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Laurence, our server at David Burke Kitchen</span></b><span style="font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"> – I bought a groupon for brunch at David Burke Kitchen prior to
our departure from Austin. We arrived at
the restaurant and were seated promptly and greeted by a fabulous young man
named Laurence. Throughout the meal we
conversed about why we were visiting New York and in turn, he told us about his
job and wife (a physician in New York).
We told him we were from Texas and found out the Maître d’ was from Schulenburg
(super small world). We asked for a
non-tourist restaurant recommendation and not only did he give us one, he also
gave us his personal cell phone number in case we needed anything while we were
in town. Astonishing! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">4.<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;">
</span></span><!--[endif]--><b><span style="font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Labor & Deliver Nurses at NY Downtown Hospital</span></b><span style="font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"> – They treated us like family, not patients! We will forever love them!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">5.<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;">
</span></span><!--[endif]--><b><span style="font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">The cab driver</span></b><span style="font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"> – There was
a cab driver that helped Gayland look for a new hotel prior to my release from
the hospital. He stopped at three
different locations along the route to the hospital to allow Gayland to go
inside while keeping our luggage safe and sound in the trunk. Not within the “cabbie rules of conduct” but
incredibly kind nonetheless!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">6.<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;">
</span></span><!--[endif]--><b><span style="font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">The Market Diner</span></b><span style="font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"> – We’ve
found a home at the Market Diner across the street. Family owned and operated for the past four
years, we absolutely love this New York landmark. We will miss them dearly when we leave.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiT51bMBSs2JpJlf3v7imdJAObIN8mnaV6m2DRobtUhAmiOFWRD1_ASSyiJgJZyv_yLtwKqXcbfcsCW5k1hUbVEA6MpaxPBRPzMgP1B4-Lll8-K_6DB3toM7mdCBjtkBk6JdPyRqKtP-YZB/s1600/Market+Diner.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="191" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiT51bMBSs2JpJlf3v7imdJAObIN8mnaV6m2DRobtUhAmiOFWRD1_ASSyiJgJZyv_yLtwKqXcbfcsCW5k1hUbVEA6MpaxPBRPzMgP1B4-Lll8-K_6DB3toM7mdCBjtkBk6JdPyRqKtP-YZB/s320/Market+Diner.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">7.<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;">
</span></span><!--[endif]--><b><span style="font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Hector, the concierge at our building</span></b><span style="font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"> – Hector is our consummate smile on the days our world seems to be
falling apart! He’s always positive,
uplifting, friendly and willing to help in any way possible! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">So see, we’re not that different after
all! If any of the aforementioned people
came to Texas, they would fit in perfectly and be just as great in our state as
they are in New York City…funny accents and all!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<!--EndFragment-->Leslie Alexander Paffehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03923742445321250754noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3218472158137600809.post-78209067087192999682012-11-12T16:47:00.001-08:002012-11-15T09:46:34.382-08:00Zero to cupcake in a New York minute!<!--[if !mso]>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Hello! My name is Leslie and I'm an addict!
My addiction began when I got to New York and was bombarded with constant
images of cupcakes! Cupcakes in cabs, cupcakes in magazines, cupcakes in
restrooms, cupcakes in the subway, cupcakes in every deli case in every
restaurant in the city. Cupcakes, cupcakes, cupcakes everywhere! At
first, I was able to resist my urge to devour every flavor in sight but
somewhere between hospitalization and being forced to become a Bona Fide couch
potato I gave in to my craving!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">The first cupcake came from a burger joint down
the street and was just "meh". Completely unimpressed, even to
my inexperienced cupcake palate, I thought, "Great! I've eaten one,
it wasn't good, so now I can begin obsessing about what I normally obsess about...what vegetable to eat next." Then, last night after an early
dinner and a weekend full of somewhat healthful eating, it happened again…the
completely insatiable desire to have chocolate cake melting in my mouth amidst
bites of sweet buttercream frosting. The temptation overcame me! I
asked Gayland if we had any sweets in the pantry and <i>thankfully</i>, we did
not. I decided instead to pull out the freshly cut fruit from the fridge
and devour it. For some reason, it didn't do the trick! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">As I sat wondering what was going on with this
constant OCD like behavior over NEEDING cupcakes, I decided to Google "Obsessive
Thinking" and see if the experts had a way of helping me cope! An
article in Psychology Today led me to Dr. Robert London, an expert in taming
obsessive thoughts. The article spoke of a physics professor that had
obsessive thoughts for years about being attacked by locusts (if only I were so
lucky). In a last ditch effort to get some relief; this woman went into
treatment with Dr. London. His treatment plan consisted of two cognitive
techniques and behavior modification..."FINALLY,” I thought to myself,
"Behavior modification. Perhaps if I change positions on the couch
(my current behavior) I can have relief from my obsessive thoughts on
cupcakes." So, I moved from the center cushion one cushion to the right....still obsessing! Ok, on to the next treatment option..."Thought Stopping". This treatment encourages the patient to imagine the distressful
scene plaguing them on a movie screen playing out (for me, this scene
includes devouring the cupcake in 1.2 seconds while watching my hips, butt and
thighs grow exponentially at the same time) and in the midst of the scene, Dr.
London hits a ruler on a table while screaming "STOP!" The
practice should interrupt the thought pattern and therefore help eliminate the
obsessive thought. What a brilliant idea! Scream, “STOP” in
mid-thought and the thought pattern is disturbed enough to end the
obsession. At this point, I was willing to try anything! I decided
to implement Dr. London’s strategy while watching the Bears play the Texans
last night. In the middle of the game, when the overwhelming thought of
cupcakes engulfed my brain at just about 2:00 left in the third quarter, I
screamed, "STOP!" at which point I scared the daylights out of
Gayland. Trying to explain this phenomenon, my obsession with cupcakes
and how to stop the overwhelming thoughts in my brain, was like trying to
explain to an alcoholic why going to the Taste of Denver might be a bad
idea. It didn't work! <o:p></o:p></span><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">If he did not think I was a complete fruitcake
before, believe me knows I am now!</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Jump ahead to lunch today where I'm feeling
strong and refreshed after a night of behavior modification as we walk into the
deli in our building! Low and behold right in front of me sits the
biggest, chocolaty, buttercreamiest with chocolate sprinkles on top, cupcake
I've ever seen! And just like a true addict, I order one before my lunch
is even cooked! Obviously, I needed to
give cognitive therapy a try as the behavior modification didn’t
work! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHwj6zy0KOI7JH039hSw9WVZ4-567E2mglvTDQRACapGsPWWRw-vUUuVIO7suxQpUudFEPSl3-ySPvS05trgaSydSLVcsN1QZr-Y8cdthxkJH7DlwPy2iYLRfPQv31gO5VbHETO_vmSSpn/s1600/Cupcake.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHwj6zy0KOI7JH039hSw9WVZ4-567E2mglvTDQRACapGsPWWRw-vUUuVIO7suxQpUudFEPSl3-ySPvS05trgaSydSLVcsN1QZr-Y8cdthxkJH7DlwPy2iYLRfPQv31gO5VbHETO_vmSSpn/s320/Cupcake.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">With all angst over becoming gluttonous
completely obliterated by the sight of this beauty, I hastily rushed back
upstairs to eat my healthy Asian Chicken wrap just so I could engorge myself in
this little…erm….OK LARGE, piece of deliciousness! With one bite, I was toast! It was like the cupcake chef used a special kind of heroine to
keep the eater fully engaged the entire cupcake. There is no way on earth
I could have had just one bite! This cupcake was the devil reincarnate
sitting on our kitchen table and no matter how much the angel on my left
shoulder was reminding me of my expanding waistline, I kept on eating until
every last morsel was down that hatch which literally took less than 3 minutes!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiuMGtkwjUYYZy4Ll52-RDPQ36yfmebLxqZmVNlCWQaocoo31pQu8bPT_63R9FSPQGJCESs_l6FhyTQDSSQR3H36Y4OvsUtIrxl-fq2jjAoQGCr4PSYl0ht2pPnIlTNZJ2-61tvt3FbcLwV/s1600/Empty+cupcake.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiuMGtkwjUYYZy4Ll52-RDPQ36yfmebLxqZmVNlCWQaocoo31pQu8bPT_63R9FSPQGJCESs_l6FhyTQDSSQR3H36Y4OvsUtIrxl-fq2jjAoQGCr4PSYl0ht2pPnIlTNZJ2-61tvt3FbcLwV/s320/Empty+cupcake.jpg" width="239" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; text-align: center;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Walking away from the plate being defeated by the sugar fairy yet again, I made Gayland promise that now we know <i>HELL</i>
is downstairs in the form of multiple cupcake flavors, he is strictly
prohibited from allowing me eat more than two in a seven-day period. Where
is the woman that trained for a half--IRONMAN in 114 degree heat a year ago
with will power, guts and health square on her mind at all times??? Well,
she's on a temporary leave of absence from all things reality in New York and to
prove it, just look at the empty plate above!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">The moral of the story is, no matter how much you
think you can tame a cupcake craving in the cupcake capital of the world,
you're only fooling yourself!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">*In the spirit of giving credit where credit is
due, check out the article Dr. London wrote in Psychology Today from 2010:
<a href="http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/two-minute-shrink/201006/taming-obsessive-thoughts"><span style="color: #0025e5;">http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/two-minute-shrink/201006/taming-obsessive-thoughts</span></a><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">**And in no way am I trying to minimize the
seriousness of OCD, or any mental illness for that fact, as I know these a
horrible medical conditions that are debilitating to those that are afflicted.
Please just take this post as my lame attempt at humor and
self-therapy....</span><o:p></o:p></div>
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Leslie Alexander Paffehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03923742445321250754noreply@blogger.com0